


I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

by Summerrainss



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: i'm not okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 30,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24099121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summerrainss/pseuds/Summerrainss
Summary: It's the Senior year.The last year to make a change.Gerard, Frank, Ray and Mikey are tired of being made fun of.It's time to make that change.Fanfic based on the videoclip from the song "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. You Are Never Gonna Make It

Before reading this fanfiction, it's important that you have seen the "I'm Not Okay" music video.

**Gerard's POV**

********

"You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet. You can't swim, can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it.", Ray said when we arrived at school.

********

It was the first day of school. The first day of Senior year.

********

I stared at the school for a while. The green fields, the great building, all of the students walking around on those stupid uniforms we were forced to wear everyday.

********

My hell on Earth.

********

"I don't wanna make it. I just wanna..." the bell rung, interrupting me.

********

"C'mon, I don't wanna be late." Ray said, and we both entered the school.

********

As we entered the same corridors we were used to, I had my head up in the clouds. Everything was exactly the same. Same walls with same stupid posters. "Stop bullying!" one said in bright orange letters. Yeah, as if.

********

Same classrooms, same lockers. Unfortunately, same people.

********

Ray and I stopped walking as we saw them coming towards us. With their big smiles, team coats and hockey hoops. Five of them, always together.

********

Sam. Carter. Zach. Blake. Jason. The jocks.

********

The school's favorites. The Hockey Team Champions.

********

The main reasons for my hell on Earth.

********

"Hello, Way!" screamed Blake, the tall one, as he saw us. "Enjoyed your summer?" he smiled at me, as I could only stare.

********

"I missed threading your head into the toilet." said Zach, the blond one. I rolled my eyes and tried to leave.

********

"C'mon, Ray... ", I whispered. When we were about to leave, Carter pushed me against the lockers while holding my coat.

********

"Don't leave so soon, Way." He said. "This is going to be a great year."

********

He released me, and the five mongoloids left, laughing. Ray pulled me to the other side of the corridor and we continued walking to the classroom, in silence.

********

I was expecting that. Since freshman those stupid motherfuckers have been tormenting me, Ray, my best friend Frank and my brother, Mikey. We all knew it was going to be a long, long year.

********

But, even though everything looked the same... I felt something different coming that year.

********


	2. No One Ever Had Much Nice To Say

**Frank's POV**

********

I met with the guys later that day. Gerard, Ray and Mikey were already sat on the lunch table when I arrived.

********

"Hey." Said Gerard.

********

"Hey." I answered.

********

"Looking forward to this amazing year?" Ray said, sarcastically.

********

I laughed. "Yeah, sure."

********

"At least this is your last year." Commented a very annoyed Mikey. "I still got two more after you're gone.

********

Even though Gerard, Ray and I were seniors, Mikey was a sophomore. He didn't have that many friends besides us.

********

"Well, at least when we leave, those jocks are leaving too, right?" I smiled.

********

He laughed. "Yeah, as if those idiots are gonna be able to graduate." We all laughed.

********

Suddenly, five guys wearing matching hockey jackets came walking towards us.

********

"Oh, no..."

********

"Speaking of the devil..."

********

"What's so funny, guys?" said Blake, once they were close enough to talk to us. "Huh? Not gonna tell me? C'mon, I wanna laugh, too!"

********

"They're probably talking about themselves. What's funnier than that?" exclaimed Zach. They all laughed. It wasn't even funny.

********

"Just get out." Gerard said to Blake, even though he was not staring at him. The other jocks made a "uuuh", encouraging the fight.

********

Blake pulled Gerard by the collar of the shirt. "Listen here, you little piece of shit. Who do you think you are to talk to me like that? You ain't nothing. You are never going to be anything. If you think..."

********

The boy let go of Gerard when he realized that a teacher was staring at us. The teachers were all very aware of the things the jocks did to us. But why blame them when they carry the title of "best hockey team" on their backs?

********

"This is not over." Blake said, finally. Carter slapped me on the head before they left.

********

Gerard sighed.

********

This is going to a long, long year.

********

********

********

I left the guys and walked alone through the corridor. I was heading to my class, when suddenly, I felt someone holding my shoulders behind me and jumping. I turned around to see her, standing there and smiling.

********

"Hello, Frankie!"

********

"Nice to see you, Amanda." I smiled.

********

She was wearing a blue skirt and jacket, the cheerleader's uniform. Her short blonde hair falling through her shoulders.

********

"So, excited to the new year?"

********

I rolled my eyes.

********

"Yeah, super." I responded, sarcastically. She laughed.

********

"Oh, c'mon. We're seniors now! It's gonna be great."

********

I smiled. We started walking together.

********

I don't even know how Amanda ended up being my friend. Last year she just... Started talking to me, and now we're friends. Even though she's a cheerleader and normally hang out with the jocks, she talks to me almost every day. I wish she could befriends with the other guys, too. But I guess is not happening any time soon.

********

We arrived at the front of a classroom door.

********

"My stop is here." I said.

********

"Yeah, I got chemistry now."

********

We both remained in silence, until she smiled and stared curling a bunch of blonde hair in her fingers.

********

"So... Got any plans for the weekend?"

********

I shrugged.

********

"I'll probably be at Gerard's or something."

********

"Oh. Cool." She gave me a sad smile. "Okay, gotta go now. Bye."

********

I waved my hand at her as she walked away.

********

That was a weird conversation. Actually, most of my conversations with Amanda ended up like this. I never understood why. Maybe we're both weirdos. Maybe that's why we're friends.

********


	3. I Hate The Ending Myself

**Gerard's POV**

I can't believe I actually survived the first week of school.

Besides the normal bullying from the jocks – punches, insults, torn notebooks, stolen money – nothing went terribly wrong.

I was waiting for Mikey at the front of the school, reading a comic book. He arrived a couple of minutes later and we did our walking.

"So," I said, starting a conversation. "How's sophomore going?"

"Well..." he pretended to puke, what made me laugh. "What about you?"

"Same."

We walked a bit more, then he asked:

"Are the guys coming tonight?"

"Nah, but they're coming tomorrow. We can rehearse."

Thinking about rehearsal made me smile. It was one of the only things that actually made me happy.

At the beginning of the previous year, Frank got a guitar. He got so into it that made the rest of us get interested in music. Ray started playing the guitar, too, and Mikey convinced dad to give him a bass. They would meet at our garage and play some songs together.

I used to sit there and draw a bit while they did some covers. I always loved drawing, so having a background soundtrack to do it was actually pretty fun. One day, I started singing to their songs without even realizing, and it turned out I didn't suck at it.

Ever since that day, we have been rehearsing in our garage, doing some covers and stuff, just for ourselves. I think nobody knows we do that. But we don't care. We just do it for fun, anyway.

"So, what you wanna do tonight?" Mikey asked.

I thought for a while, then smiled and said:

"Horror movie?"

He smiled back.

"Horror movie."

Saturday morning,I woke up and went to the kitchen to get some cereal. Mikey was already there, eating.

"Morning." He said. I waved my hand, not in the mood for talking.

About one hour later, we were at the garage, waiting for Frank and Ray. Fortunately, mom and dad couldn't care less about what we did there, so we basically had the whole place and day for ourselves, without fear of being disturbed.

It was all I wanted.

"Okay, who's ready for some music?" Frank screamed when they arrived. Ray was laughing in the back.

Mikey, who was sitting in the couch, got up smiling, very excited.

"I sure am!" he said. It was good to see how happy music made him. "C'mon, Gee!"

I got up, too, very lazy, but also excited.

Ray got his guitar and so did Frank. We stared playing some covers of Misfits and Muse, testing and changing some stuff to make it more like "us". The sensation of singing was so good. I could just feel the music and ignore everything else.

In the middle of the evening, our snacks were over and Ray and Mikey proposed to go out and buy some more. I was feeling too lazy to go with them and Frank stayed to keep me company.

We sat in the couch and started talking about music. About what we could change to sound better and what was already good enough. After a while, we just stopped talking and remained in silence.

Then, Frank sighed and started talking again.

"Listen, Gee... Now that we're alone... There's something that I wanted to show you."

I stared at him, curious.

He sighed again as he got up and walked towards his backpack. Then, came back, holding a notebook. Frank sat again in the couch and said, looking to the notebook.

"You know how much music means to me. Probably how much art means to you." That's a lot. "But I know you and the guys only do that for fun, which is okay... The thing is, I really want to take this seriously, you know? I want it to be my future."

He looked at me. I nodded.

"I know, Frankie. You'll get there." We smiled. "So, what did you wanna show me?"

He stared at the notebook again.

"As I said, I wanted to start taking it seriously. So... I started writing some stuff..."

"Really? That's awesome!" I was truly excited.

He gave me a shy smile.

"You can read it, as long as you don't laugh at me. Or mock me."

"I would never do that." I said, sarcastically. He punched me in the arm and we both laughed.

"I'm serious! Also, don't show the others. Let's keep it a secret for now."

I agreed and he finally lended me the notebook. The cover was black and hard. I opened it and notice that a part of the first pages was already used, with several sentences written, circulated or scratched. After passing some pages, I finally found one whose text was written in the form of music, without any erasure.

_To un-explain the unforgivable,_   
_Drain all the blood and give the kids a show_   
_By streetlight this dark night,_   
_A séance down below_   
_There're things that I have done,_   
_You never should ever know_

_And without you is how I disappear,_   
_And live my life alone forever now_   
_And without you is how I disappear,_   
_And live my life alone forever now_

I was shook for a while. I never thought Frank Iero, the guy who has been my best friend for years, could write such a thing.

Without my reaction, Frank started to freak out a bit.

"Is it that bad?" he asked.

"Bad?" I practically screamed. "This is AMAZING! How come you never told me you were that good? For how long have you been writing?"

He laughed with all of my questions and shrugged.

"Not too long. And I'm not that good. By the way, you should write, too."

"Me?"

"Yeah! I mean, you look like you could be a good compositor."

I thought about it for a little while.

"Nah... Don't think is gonna happen."

We remained in silence for a few seconds, then got the notebook again.

"So... What's the melody?"

"I don't know yet. But I was thinking of something like this."

Frank stood up and got his guitar, then started playing some chords and singing the chorus.

"That is really good."

"And I was hoping you could help me make it even better. I didn't like the ending that much."

I smiled.

"Count me in."


	4. Nobody Cares If You're Losing Yourself

**Gerard's POV:**

Getting back to school was my death every Monday morning. At least the weekend was productive; Frank and I worked in the song he was composing. I was very proud of it.

In the other hand, school was still the same. Same Jocks with same stupid jokes and punches and bullying.

During lunch, Frank, Mikey, Ray and I were sitting on the stairs outside, at the cafeteria. I looked at the Jock's table. There were lots of boys from the hockey team and other sports and some flerty cheerleaders. I rolled my eyes. Those girls were so annoying. And if I'm not mistaken, Frank is friends with one of them. Well, whatever. I realized they were looking at us and laughing, but I ignored.

Suddenly, something caught my attention: one of the jocks throwed a sandwich in our direction. It landed on Frank, who looked a bit mad, frustrated and confused, but also bored, like he was expecting it.

Ray and Mikey looked at him, too, but none of us said a thing. Frank looked at me, like he was silently asking me what to do. I thought about it for a while.

As much as I hated the Jocks, there was nothing that we could do about it. They were the school favorites, they competed and won competitions and prizes for the school. They were pretty, they were sporty, they were popular, and everybody loved them. What we, the weird outcasts, could do about it? No teacher would listen to us, believe me, I've tried.

I wanted to do something. I wanted to stand up and scream to them, punch them, beat the shit out of them, maybe kill them if necessary, for all they did to me, to my brother, to my friends, to all the other outcasts out there. I wanted to show the world who they really were, and I wanted people to listen. But it would be useless. Because they wouldn't listen to me.

It wasn't worth it.

I stared at Frank and shook my head, denying, like telling him that. That wasn't worth it.

He sighed and looked at the sandwich. I was so sad about that. I could feel how embarrassed he was. That filled me with anger. I hated when the Jocks picked on me, but I hated even more when they picked on Frank, Mikey or Ray.

I looked at them, all laughing and mocking us. The only person in silence was a blonde girl dressed as a cheerleader. She actually looked sad. Maybe she was the one who's friends with Frank? Well, if she was really his friend, she would have stopped the Jocks from throwing the sandwich at him.

At the end of the class, I was at the school's gates waiting for Mikey to get out. As always, he was a bit late. I was waiting and reading my comic book when, suddenly, I received a message.

_Gee, my math class is having some extra lessons right now, and I kinda need it. Can you wait a bit longer? Thanks!_

_Mikey_

Oh, great. Not only I would get home later, but I'd also have to wait doing absolutely nothing. Awesome.

Obviously, I could just walk home by myself. But I didn't want to go alone. And I also didn't want Mikey to go alone. I sat down on the stairs outside the school and waited.

Five minutes passed. Ten minutes. I finished my comic book. Fifteen minutes. Boredom.

I looked around. At least I was alone. No Jocks to bully me.

Twenty minutes. I texted Frank and Ray. They didn't reply. At those times it would be nice to have more than three friends.

I sighed. I decided to doodle on my notebook, but, for some reason, when I got it, I remember what Frank said.

_You look like you could be a good compositor._

He actually thought I could compose something? I probably couldn't. I'm an artist, maybe a singer. But I'm not a compositor.

Them, I remembered what happened earlier. The Jocks. The sandwich. The look in Frank's face.

A wave of anger came, boiling in my blood. I couldn't actually find the words to make lyrics, so I just started writing down whatever came through my head.

_And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground_

_And if they get me take this spike to my heart and_

_And if they get me and the sun goes down_

_And if they get me take this spike and_

_You put the spike in my heart_

For some reason, in the middle of the process of turning my thoughts into lyrics, I started thinking about the comic book I had just finished, which was about vampires, and ended up mixing the Jocks with it.

And it actually looked... Good?

I got inspired and started writing whatever came to my mind. Time flew. Suddenly, Mikey was standing in front of me, looking at me like I was crazy.

"Gee? Helloooo? Earth to Gerard, are you listening?" he said.

"Oh, hi, Mikey. Left the class already?"

"Already? I thought you would be super mad at me for making you wait that long."

"And I was. But I found something to do." I said, standing up and holding my backpack.

"What?" Mikey asked as we started to walk towards the school gates.

"You'll see."


	5. The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

**Gerard's POV:**

I finished writing the song at home and named it _Vampires Will Never Hurt You_. I was actually proud of myself for being able to write something. I guess Frank was right, after all.

I continued to write my thoughts through the rest of the week. It was a good way to put it out what I was feeling. And it was anger and sadness most of the time.

In that day, it was raining. It was raining so much. I love rain, but I had to go home walking. To make it even better, Mikey was sick and missed class. I had to walk home by myself.

"Wish I had a fucking umbrella..." I mumbled at the school's gates, looking to the street. Two minutes in the rain and I was already completely wet. My long black hair was sticking to my face, so I decided to make a ponytail.

I sighed and started walking. The road was full of puddles everywhere. I kept walking, faster as the rain got stronger. I'd probably get sick because of all of that rain. But, after a while, it started to feel nice. The cold water running down my hair and my face, I was already soaked anyway, why just don't enjoy it?

Suddenly, I saw myself alone on the street. No cars on the road, no one walking past. I stopped walking, dropped my soaked backpack in the ground and opened my arms, staring at the grey skies and smiled. I could feel the water cleaning me. I wasn't sad of angry anymore. It was just me, the rain, the cold wind. It felt nice.

"Hey, what the fuck is that weirdo doing right now?" I heard a voice say. The only voice I didn't want to listen.

I opened my eyes and looked to the road. There was a car with the windows down, and I could see _them_ there.

"What the fuck are you doing? Worshiping one of your dark lords?" asked Blake. The others laughed.

I didn't answer. I got my backpack from the floor and started leaving, a bit embarrassed.

"Woah, where'd you think you're going?" said Zach.

Again, I ignored them and started walking away.

"Who toughed you that attitude, Way?" Jason screamed. "You think you can just leave like that? Have some respect to your superiors!"

_Superiors._

I wanted to scream so much. I wanted to get my ass back there and punch them. Kill them. But I just couldn't. Couldn't make myself do that.

The anger boiling in my blood was so hot that didn't even feel the cold rain anymore. But still, I kept walking away.

"Way thinks he can ignore us." I heard Carter say. "Let's teach him a lesson."

All I could hear was the noise of the car's doors opening, but I had already ran away. Suddenly, my backpack became heavier. My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't see anything anymore. I couldn't feel the rain. All I could hear was the sound of their footsteps against the puddles on the ground, getting closer at every second.

I stopped running when I felt something grabbing my shirt and pulling me back. When I turned around, Blake was in front of me, with Carter, Jason and Zach right behind. I could see some lights getting closer; Sam was driving the car toward us.

"This will teach you not to ignore us again, Way."

One punch. One punch was all that it took for me to fall.

I felt the cold water on my back when I fell into a puddle. My jaw, on the other hand, was burning.

"You are too weak, Way. It's not even funny." Blake said. I had to look up to see him, since I was lying down on the ground. It made me feel small.

"What do we have here?" Carter said, getting close to my backpack. He opened it, and started throwing all my stuff away. Unfortunately, he chose one notebook that had some of the pages marked and opened it.

" _Vampires Will Never Hurt You_? What the fuck, Way? Your cult is getting even creepier, you little shit!"

No. Not my songs.

I immediately stood up. "Give it back!" I screamed. I tried to run to him to get my notebook back, but Jason and Zach caught me.

"Let me go!" I started to struggle, but all they could do was laugh.

"Let me see that." Blake took the notebook from Carter's hands. "Can you take this spike? Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless nighttime sky? Can you take this spike? Will it wash away this jet black feeling?"

Every verse he read, the Jocks laughed even more. I was so embarrassed. I didn't have the courage to show that to anyone yet, not even Frank. And the way they were mocking me... Just made everything worse.

"You wrote that? God, this is terrible!" Jason said, between laughs.

"I thought you were weird, Way, but, wow! You know how to surprise us!" Blake exclaimed. The others laughed even more.

Jason and Zach were still holding my arms and Carter got close to me. We were face to face.

"Go back to Transylvania, shitty vampire. Get out of our school." He whispered. Then, he punched me in the stomach. I immediately lost all the air.

Jason and Zach dropped me on the ground again. Before I could get up the four of them got closer and started kicking me. I couldn't move. All I could do was turn into a ball, covering my head with my hands, trying to protect me.

After a few minutes, the stopped and left, laughing. The last thing I saw, still lying down in the puddle, was Carter ripping the page with my song from my notebook and tearing it into pieces. He, then, threw the notebook in another puddle.

"See you tomorrow, loser." That was the last thing Blake said after the four of them entered the car and left me there, alone.

Everything hurt. My arms, my legs, my stomach. But what hurt the most was my pride.

I crawled towards my notebook. It was completely soaked. The pieces of the page where my song was written were all over the road. Some of them so wet that had already dissolved. Others, blown away by the wind.

I felt the cold water from the rain rolling down my cheeks. Suddenly, the water became hot. I wiped them, trying to convince myself that it was just the rain.

I finally stood up, packed all my things again and continued my way home. While walking, for some reason, there were a phrase echoing in my mind.

_You don't know what it means to be a joke and look, another line without a hook._


	6. I'm Who I've Got To Be

**Gerard's POV:**

"This has gone too far." Said Mikey as he held a bag with ice against my leg. He stopped, used his inhaler and then continued.

When I got home, Mikey was waiting for me. He was worried because it took me too long to come back from school. When I explained to him what happened, he felt so guilty that I don't know what was worst: my pain, my embarrassment or the look on his face.

We were at my room, after I took a shower to try to get rid of all the cold rain and possibly my thoughts. Luckily, we were alone. I'd hate if mom and dad saw me like that.

"What you expect me to do?" I asked. "Telling someone? Who would listen to me?"

"Mom and dad." He said. We looked into each other's eyes. We both knew that we would never tell mom and dad about the things we go through.

I sighed. "It's not happening."

He fixed his glasses and took the ice bag away from my leg.

"What are you telling them about all of those bruises?" he asked me.

I shrugged.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter. I think they're not even gonna see."

My arms and legs were full of purple marks and bruises. Fortunately, they didn't hit me in the face, so it would be easier to hide.

Mikey sighed and sat at the end of my bed.

"This has to stop, Gerard. We have to do something."

I snorted.

"It's all I want. But what would I do? Punch them back? We both know it's not happening."

He remained in silence for a while, thinking.

"I'm sorry." He said, finally. "For leaving you alone today. This probably wouldn't have happened if I was there."

I gave him a sad smile and moved to hug him.

"It's not your fault, Mikey. Relax."

He smiled back, then said "What else did they do? Besides punching you and throwing away your stuff?"

I immediately remembered my song. Carter tearing the page apart. The pieces flying away or dissolving in the puddles.

"Nothing." I said. "By the way, we should start trying to dry my stuff. If mom and dad see that, they'll probably ask..."

"Yeah, okay."

We got up and spent most of the afternoon trying to dry my books and notebooks. They were not perfect, the pages had ripples, but at least they were dry and usable.

Going to school on the following day was harder than I thought. Most of my bruises had faded away, but some of them were really purple and visible. I decided to wear a coat, so no one could see my arms. The school's pants would cover my legs.

"Why the coat? It's not that cold today." Said mom when I arrived at the living room. I, for some reason, froze. But before I could say anything, Mikey appeared.

"It was raining really hard yesterday." He said. "Maybe it will get cold later."

Mom raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

"Okay, then. Have a good day, dear."

I left the house, followed by Mikey. We exchanged a look. I didn't even have to say thank you. He just smiled like he already knew, and we started walking.

A few minutes later, we found Ray and Frank in the corridor, close to their lockers. When they saw us, they just kept talking, until Frank, who was by my side, looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Gerard." He whispered. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, affirming.

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, trust me."

He gave me a strange look, but then continued the conversation. After a little while, Ray gave me this weird look.

"What's with the coat?"

I shrugged.

"Can't I just wear a coat?"

"It's an ugly fucking coat." Frank said, smiling. I pressed my lips.

"In that, I have to agree." Said a voice behind me. We all turned, just to see the Jocks coming.

I rolled my eyes. One day. One day without them was all that I wanted.

"Not that your _vampiric_ fashion choice is any better." Blake continued.

"Why are you wearing this?" Carter pushed Ray against the lockers so he could be right in front of me.

I turned my head to the side, not answering.

"Is that because of yesterday?" he was speaking in a weird voice, like a baby. "Little Gerard wanted to cover up the results?"

Suddenly, I felt someone grabbing me. I tried to struggle, but it was useless. Seconds later, my coat was on the floor. All the bruises in my arms were now exposed. Both Frank and Ray inhaled in surprise.

"What happened, Way?" Sam said, mocking me. "Tell us what happened."

I didn't answered.

"I'm gonna say." Blake started, getting closer to me. "He _fell_. Isn't that right, Gerard? He _fell down_. That is what you're gonna say if someone ask. Unless you want to _fall_ again. You understand me?"

I closed my eyes, clenching my teeth. Blake punched the locker right in front of my face and I hated myself for shaking when he did it.

The Jocks laughed.

"Later, losers" Carter said. While leaving, all of them punched my friends in the head and stepped on my coat. Again, the anger boiling in my blood was bigger than anything. I couldn't hear. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel anything but the anger.

Before the tears of anger could roll down my face, I grabbed my coat from the ground and ran away.

"Gerard!" I heard Frank scream. But I didn't want to talk.

They found me a couple of minutes later, in the bathroom. I was sitting in the toiled with the lid closed, holding my dirty coat and trying my best not to cry.

Crying of anger is so much worse than crying from sadness.

I heard the bathroom door opening and a voice.

"Gerard?" it was Mikey.

"Are you okay?" Ray asked.

 _"I'm Okay, I promise"_ I wanted to say. But it wasn't true.

I finally opened my cabin's door, just to see the three of them staring at me with very worried looks.

"Mikey told us what happened." Frank said, softly. "I'm really sorry, Gee, you should have told us..."

"It's fine." I interrupted. "I swear. Let's just... Not talk about it, okay?"

They exchanged looks, then looked at me again and smiled.

"Okay."

For the rest of the day, we were able to avoid the Jocks. At the end of the classes, instead of going home with just Mikey, we all went together so we could rehearse a little.

The afternoon made me forget about the morning and the day before. At least when I was singing, all I could think about was my song, my music, my voice. The sound and the sensation of everything together.

When the sun was almost down, Ray said he had to go home. Frank, Mikey and I went to the living room to watch a horror movie, and Mikey decided to make some popcorn.

Since I was alone with Frank, I decided it was a good idea to start a conversation.

"You were right." I said.

"'Bout what?" he answered, not looking at me.

"Me being a good compositor."

He immediately changed his position to look directly at me.

"Really?! That's awesome!" he smiled.

"The only problem is... I don't have it. Anymore."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed.

"The Jocks ripped it. Yesterday. They read it and thought it was horrible."

Frank remained in silence, staring at nowhere for a few seconds.

"Frank?"

Suddenly, he stood up with a psycho look, throwing his hands in the air.

"When you FINALLY write a song, those STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS are the FIRST ONES to read it and they RIP THE FUCKING SONG? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I'M GONNA, IM GONNA KILL THEM! FOR EVERYTHING THEY DID, FOR..." he screamed, while walking in circles.

I stood up and made him stop walking by holding his shoulders.

"Frank, calm down. It's fine."

"It's not fine. It's so unfair. Not only they ruined your work, but also I wanted to read the song."

"It wasn't that good, anyway."

"I'm sure it was, Gerard. Don't believe them when they say you're useless or have no talent, because you have."

I smiled.

"Uh... What are you guys doing?" Mikey appeared at the door, holding a bowl full of popcorn. I realized I was still holding Frank by his shoulders.

"Uuhh... Nothing." I let him go and sat down on the sofa, blushing. Mikey sat, too, with a weird look on his face. Frank did the same, but he was grinning a little.


	7. Would You Have The Guts To Say?

**Frank's POV:**

Two weeks passed since Gerard told me about his song. So much happened since, and I couldn't be happier. He came to my house so we could work on my song, and he was able to rewrite his song from what he remembered. We made some melody and _voilà_! _This Is How I Disappear_ and _Vampires Will Never Hurt You_ were complete!

We finally had the courage to show Ray and Mikey, and they loved it! Now, our rehearsals were even better. Playing your own songs is way cooler than playing covers. Gerard and I agreed we would try to make some more, even though I noticed that Gerard was no longer excited to keep writing. I think he took seriously what the Jocks said about his song.

At the end of the classes, I was waiting for my dad to pick me up outside the school. I had my ear buds on and was writing on my notebook, trying to make lyrics. Suddenly, someone sat by my side and took one of my ear buds.

"Enter Sandman. Nice." said Amanda.

I smiled.

"I didn't know you liked Metallica."

She shrugged.

"I'm very eclectic."

We remained in silence for a while, then she asked "What are you doing?"

I closed the notebook, immediately, by instinct. She looked surprised and a bit hurt.

"If you don't want to show me, it's fine."

I sighed.

"No, it's not that. It's just..."

I've always been insecure about my songs. It took me so much to show Gerard, even more to show the others. But something about Amanda made me feel I could trust her. Not only I knew she wouldn't mock me, but I also was sure she would be sincere.

I sighed again.

"Okay." I gave her the notebook. "Please, be sincere. But only if you like it."

She laughed and nodded. She then opened the notebook on the page I was writing.

_These are the eyes and the lies of the taken_

_These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours_

_They burn 'cause they are all afraid_

_For every one of us, there's an army of them_

_But you'll never fight alone_

_Cause I wanted you to know_

_That the world is ugly_

_But you're beautiful to me_

_Well, are you thinking of me now?_

When she finished reading, she looked at me. I couldn't tell by her expression if she liked or not. She gave me my notebook back and remained in silence.

"...So?" I asked.

"You really wrote that, Frankie?"

I nodded.

"Wow. WOW! It's beautiful! Congratulations, I loved it, honestly!"

I smiled, blushing.

"Haha, thanks."

We stayed in silence, just staring at each other for a while.

"So..." she got closer to me, her blue eyes shining. "Did you wrote that for someone in specific?"

I looked at my notebook, thinking.

"Nah." I answered. "I just was inspired."

"Oh." She pulled back a little and pressed her back against the wall. "Too bad."

"Who would I write for, anyway?" I said, laughing. I thought she would laugh too, but she just raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah." Amanda said, sarcastically. "Who would you?"

Suddenly, I car stopped in front of us.

"That's my dad." She said, getting up.

"Bye." I commented. She left without saying anything.

That was weird. Was she mad? Did I do anything wrong? Well, I don't think I did. I shrugged and continued writing until my dad came.

In the next afternoon, me and the guys met at Gerard's garage. I was the last one to arrive.

"My hair still smells like toilet water." Said Mikey, disgusted.

"Ew. Gross. I don't think they ever put my head on the toilet." Ray commented.

"That's because your fro doesn't fit there." Gerard answered, making the three of them laugh.

"Forget about toilets, I've got good news." I said, entering the garage. They all looked at me. "I've composed another song!"

They all smiled.

"Show us!" Mikey exclaimed, instantly forgetting about the toilet hair.

I opened my notebook, still a little insecure, and showed them _The World Is Ugly_. They read it for a while and then looked at me.

"Wow, Frankie! This is great!" Mikey smiled.

"Yeah, dude, you rock!" Ray continued.

"It's amazing." Gerard said, softly, and gave me a little smile. He looked a bit thoughtful.

We played our songs and tried to compose some melody for _The World Is Ugly_ during the afternoon. I noticed that Gerard wasn't paying that much attention. Why was he like that?

"You haven't composed anything new later." I told him at the beginning of the night.

He shrugged.

"I guess it was just an one time thing."

"No, it wasn't. it was a Jocks thing."

He stared at me, like he couldn't believe I had said that. But, deep inside, we both knew it was true.

"Please, don't let them bring you down like this. You have a lot of potential. Don't let a bunch of Neanderthals keep you from doing what you like."

We stared at each other for a while. Suddenly, he hugged me.

"Thanks, Frankie."

I smiled.

"Whenever you need, Gee."

**Gerard's POV:**

It was about 2am and I was lying awake on my bed. Since that encounter with the Jocks in the rain, I was feeling unmotivated. What they said about being superiors, ripping my song, everything. This had never let me down before because I never believed it. Why was it being different now?

Frank didn't know, and he never would, because I would never tell him, but he actually helped me a lot. And he was right, after all. I do have potential. I couldn't let them take that away from me.

I got up and got my pen and notebook. I started trying to focus on what I was feeling. Anger? Confusion? I didn't know. But i continued writing anyway.

_It's unbelievable to see  
We're dead flies in the summer time  
They leave us all behind  
With duck tape scars on my honey  
They don't like who you are  
You won't like where we'll go  
Brother protect me now  
With blood they wash in the money_

_You don't believe in god  
I don't believe in luck  
They don't believe in us  
But I believe we're the enemy_

This is what came out. If I liked it or I was just hallucinating from sleep deprivation, I couldn't tell. I closed my notebook and laid in bed. The last thing I thought before falling asleep was "I'm not showing that to guys yet."


	8. Ain't No Way That I'm Sorry For What I Did

**Frank's POV:**

I hate Chemistry class. None of my friends are there and there's a bunch of Jocks. In that class, I sat by myself – like always – and tried to pay attention. But five minutes later, I was writing some inspirations that I could turn into lyrics later.

Then, our teacher, Mr. Olson, assigned us an activity. We were supposed to make a chemical reaction by mixing some stuff or whatever. As if I was paying attention.

I always loved messing around with my teachers, especially in Chemistry. Smirking, I opened my backpack and took an apron, pink kitchen gloves I stole from my mom and swimming goggles. After I was dressed up, I started my chemical reaction.

I realized that now, the Jocks and some cheerleaders, sitting in the back of the class, were staring at me and laughing. I didn't care, because I also thought it was fun. Even though it was funnier to do it last year, when I had Chemistry with Ray and Gerard.

Then, I realized Mr. Olson was also staring at me, and he wasn't very happy. That was the incentive I needed to continue.

When Mr. Olson turned around, I looked around the class, making sure no one was seeing, and replaced whatever was in my Erlenmayer flask by Gatorade. For a while, I pretended to be really interested in the activity, and, suddenly, I drank the Gatorade.

Mr. Olson's reaction was priceless. I think I never saw a man so stupefied in my life. But, seconds later, he realized what I was doing.

"Stop messing around, Mr. Iero." He said. But I saw his was smiling. At least he has some sense of humor.

"EW! Iero, you are SO GROSS!" I heard someone screaming at the back of the classroom. I took out the goggles and turned around. There were three Jocks – Zach and Blake included – and two cheerleaders. It was one of them who screamed.

"Relax, Danna, he might throw his magic potion at you if you catch his attention."

They laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, Iero, what is that potion for? To make you grow a little bit?" Blake said, louder, and all of them laughed again.

"This guy scare me." Said Danna again.

"Good." I told her, and then turned around, not facing them anymore.

"Why?" said the other girl. "He doesn't scare me. He's just a weirdo."

"Ashley, shut up." Said Danna, and they both laughed like the two brainless Barbie dolls they are.

I turned around to face them again.

"You're not afraid of me?" I asked, kinda laughing, thinking about where this conversation was going.

Ashley crossed her arms.

"No. Should I?"

I smiled.

"Maybe."

She stared at me in fear. The Jocks frowned, trying to understand me.

"Enough, Mr. Iero." Mr. Olson exclaimed, and I turned around again, not facing them anymore. I heard Ashley whispering "You saw that? He threatened me! He dared to threat me! This guy is mental if he thinks he can scare me easily like that."

"And dead if he does anything to you." Finished one of the Jocks.

Staring at no were, I grinned. I'd be dead anyway. It was worth it.

"If someone asks, I had nothing to do with that." Amanda said while opening Ashely's locker. For some reason, she knew the combination of most of the cheerleader's lockers. I didn't ask why.

"Thanks, Mandy." She blushed when I called her by her nickname. "This is gonna be hilarious."

"I hope you don't get killed after that."

"I probably will. But I don't mind."

She finished putting the combination and opened the locker.

"Again, I've never been here, okay?"

I laughed.

"If you are so afraid of being caught, why you helped me?"

She shrugged.

"You are my friend." She hesitated. "And Ashley is so annoying."

I laughed again.

"Okay. Thanks again, Amanda."

"No pro. Tell me about it when you're finished." She blinked and left. I smiled. I was so lucky she was my friend.

Then, I stared into Ashley's locker. I took a deep breath, got in and closed the door. It was strait, but I knew how to handle it. Who would say being locked in lockers by the Jocks so many times would end up yielding something?

I waited so long. I felt my phone vibrating on my pocket, probably my friends were looking for me, since I was gone the entire lunch time. When I was almost giving up, I heard some voices. Ashley's obnoxious voice getting closer and closer and...

"AAAH!" I screamed as she opened the locker's door. She screamed, too, really scared, and fell. I just left the place, adjusting my tie, like nothing had happened.

I was dead for sure. But it was worth it.


	9. Give Me All You Got, I Can Take It

**Gerard's POV:**

I didn't see Frank at lunch. He didn't answered his phone. I was kinda worried. But I knew that everything was fine, so I just ignored my "but what if?" thoughts and continued my day.

At lunch, Mikey, Ray and I agreed to meet at the Chemistry classroom when the classes ended, so we could see our test results together. I was expecting an F anyway.

At the end of the day, I entered the Chemistry classroom, hoping that one of the boys had met with Frank and told him our plan.

I sat there and waited for a while. Checked my phone. No messages. Finally, my curiosity won and I opened the test without them. There was a big F in red paint there.

"Yes!" I cheered, sarcastically. But, suddenly, I turned around, just to have my face hit by a fist.

I held my nose with my hand, feeling the blood coming out. I wasn't understanding anything. Then, hands grabbed me by the collar.

"Way." Said Blake. He wasn't happy. At. All. "Where's Iero?"

Why was he looking for Frank? What had he done? That's why he was missing all day?

"Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you."

He punched me again and I saw stars. But I wasn't giving in.

"Are you going to stop being the funny one now?" he asked.

"Let me go and I'll answer."

"I don't have time for your games right now, Way." He was almost spitting in anger. "If you don't tell me where he is..."

I didn't know where all that courage came from. But the thing was: I was tired of being so scared all the time. I was not going to let him go unpunished this time.

"You'll have to kill me first." I smiled.

When he tried to punch me again, I threw my body down and he punched the air.

"Get him!" I heard Blake scream, but I was already out of the classroom. Leaving the room in a rush, I ended up crashing into someone.

"Gee?" Frank said, worried. Mikey and Ray were right behind him. "Why is your nose bleeding?"

Everything happened so fast. All at the same time, Carter and Jason came from across the hall and grabbed me. Blake left the Chemistry classroom and appeared in the corridor. He was looking for me, but, when he saw Frank, his expression changed.

"IERO!" he screamed. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GIRLFRIEND?!"

Frank's eyes widened. But, instead of running away, he stayed.

"I have zero regrets." He smiled, making Blake even angrier.

"It was just a jump scare, Blake, get over it." Ray said. Jump scare? I was the only one who had no idea of what was happening?

"Shut up, fro faggot." Blake turned to the rest of the Jocks behind me. "End them. But leave Iero to me."

The moment Blake turned around to face Frank again, this one was already with his fist raised.

Everyone gasped.

Blake put his hands on his nose. For a few seconds, the corridor was pure silence.

"You are dead." He said.

"I know." Frank finished.

And the chaos began.

I don't know what happened to us that day. The thing was: we were done being afraid. We were tired of being punching bags. That day, we wanted revenge.

Carter and Jason dropped me, but, before they could do anything, I punched Carter in the cheek. His head turned aside.

"I'm going to kill you, Way!"

The entire corridor was a mess. I could see Mikey fighting Sam, Ray with Zach, Carter coming after me, Blake and Frank breaking up in the punches... And I never felt more alive.

The feeling of not only being prey, not only hiding all the time, not being afraid. It was everything I wanted, everything I needed. It made me feel new again. Like I had a chance.

On the other hand, taking punches in all parts of your body was not the best of sensations. I won't lie I was actually relieved when Mr. Olson appeared at the corridor, screaming.

"What is going on here?" he said so loud that we all stopped what we were doing.

Carter was pressing me against the lockers and ready to punch me one more time. Zach and Sam were kicking Ray on the floor, but Mikey was behind them, about to throw a chair on them. Jason was trying to impede him. Blake and Frank were rolling on the floor.

Mr. Olson stopped for a while, thinking what to do. Finally, he sighed.

"Go to the nursery and then go to the principal's office."

The two groups split up and we obeyed. While walking, I whispered to Frank.

"You have a LOT of explaining to do."


	10. I'm Not Afraid To Keep On Living

**Gerard's POV:**

After going to the nursery, we all went to see the principal. As I expected, he couldn't let his golden athletes go to detention, so he pretended to believe that we started the fight and only the four of us got to pay the price.

Obviously, no coat could hide our bruises, so Mikey and I agreed to tell mom and dad the truth about the fight. We said we were fine and it wouldn't happen again. We had our fingers crossed behind our backs when we said that.

Frank told me all about the Ashley Jump Scare thing, which I thought it was hilarious. And apparently, she actually fainted after it. Guess she was scared of something after all. I just don't know how Frank manage to enter her locker. Guess I'll have to find that by myself, since he wouldn't tell me.

In the next day, the detention was at the Chemistry classroom. For some reason, Mr. Olson left us alone. We could leave if we wanted, but we knew he was probably just watching TV in the teacher's room at the end of the corridor, so running away wouldn't do much, besides giving us two more hours of detention.

Frank was sitting on the floor, playing with a little squishy ball. Mikey was sitting on a chair, with his head on the table, probably trying to sleep. Ray was writing on a piece of paper with a crayon. I had no idea of what he was doing.

I was at the last table of the classroom, on the last chair, writing on my notebook. After all that incident, I was finally inspired, had some stuff going on my mind and I was trying to turn it into lyrics.

_And if your heart stops beating_   
_I'll be here wondering_   
_Did you get what you deserve?_   
_The ending of your life_   
_And if you get to heaven_   
_I'll be here waiting, babe_   
_Did you get what you deserve?_   
_The end, and if your life won't wait_   
_Then your heart can't take this_

It wasn't bad.

Suddenly, Frank got up and snorted.

"This is SO boring! Also, so unfair. I wanna go home."

"Just deal with it, Frankie." Mikey said, still hiding his head under his arms.

"But it's soooo boring." he was whining like a little kid. "What are you guys even doing?"

He walked across the classroom and came up to me.

"What'cha doin', Gee?" he said, smiling creepily.

"Noth-" I tried to say as he stole my notebook. "Hey! Give it back!"

Frank laughed and started running and reading as I chased him.

"Frank! I'm serious! Give it back!"

Suddenly, he stopped running and looked at me. No laugh, no smile.

"Gee, you wrote that?" he said, quietly. Ray and Mikey were now staring at us.

I blushed and shook my head, affirming.

"This is... Great!" Frank smiled and turned to Ray and Mikey. "Guys, listen!"

I turned around, very embarrassed, as Frank read my lyrics out loud. I think he was more excited because I was writing again than because of the lyrics itself.

"Wow." Said Mikey. "That's amazing, Gee."

"Thanks." I responded, softly.

"We should start taking the band thing seriously." Frank commented. Mikey and I agreed.

"Maybe we should start by giving the band a name, right?" Mikey said, laughing.

"Right. What do you think, Ra-" Frank turned to Ray and stopped talking. "What the fuck are you even doing?"

We all stared at Ray. He was licking and about to eat the crayon. I laughed.

Frank walked towards Ray and stole his piece of paper.

"What is this supposed to be?"

Ray shrugged.

"I don't know. Just writing some stuff. Very random."

Frank read some of the things written there out loud. Most was just "Ray Rules" and other weird things, but there was one that caught our attention.

"My Beautiful Romance?" Frank asked.

"That sounds cool." Said Mikey.

"Nah." I argued. "Could be less... Cute."

"What you propose, then?" Ray stood up.

I thought for a while, then said "My Brutal Romance?"

"Ew, no way, that's horrible!" Frank exclaimed, as he and Ray walked towards me. Mikey remained seated, staring at some chemistry utensils on the shelf.

"I really like the Romance part." Frank continued. "But we gotta change the middle."

"My Innocent Romance?" Ray suggested.

"My Selfish Romance."

"My Miserable Romance."

"My Pathetic Romance."

"My Watercooler Romance!" Ray said, finally.

"That's the worst of all." Frank answered. Ray stared at him, a bit mad.

We all stopped talking and the classroom remained in silence. Suddenly, with his eyes still glazed in the chemistry materials, Mikey stood up and said, very slowly and quietly.

"My Chemical Romance."

We kept in silence. Literally, none of us said a thing. No one agreed or disagreed. But, deep inside, we all knew: our band finally had a name.


	11. Paint It Black And Take It Back

**Gerard's POV:**

At least to me, it seemed like giving the band a name made it feel more real. Now, we were not just rehearsing and playing some covers for fun at my garage. We were an actual band, creating actual songs.

After the fight with the jocks and the detention, two things came to me: first, I notice that the Jocks were messing up with us a little bit less than usual. It seems it's not so cool anymore to bully us now that they know we can fight back. And second, my creativity for writing came back. I manage to write a couple of songs through the week, and the melody for some of them. I wanted to show the guys my songs... Even though I was a bit insecure.

When we all met at my garage, before the rehearsal, I told them about it and they seemed happy. I gave them my notebook and waited. They started reading, silently.

"What's with all this moaning?" Frank asked. I supposed they were reading _Destroya_.

I smiled, really embarrassed.

"I was sleepy when I wrote it. Don't judge."

He smiled back.

"I like it."

Mikey turned the page. More silence.

"I liked this one. Can you sing it? Have you got the melody?"

I looked in the notebook to see what song he was talking about. I nodded and started singing.

_Stay out of the light_   
_Or the photographs that I gave you_   
_You can say a prayer if you need to_   
_Or just get in line and I'll grieve you_   
_Can I meet you, alone_   
_Another night and I'll see you_   
_Another night and I'll be you_   
_Some other way to continue_   
_To hide my face_   
  
_Another knife in my hands_   
_A stain that never comes off the sheets_   
_Clean me off_   
_I'm so dirty, babe_   
_The kind of dirty_   
_Where the water never cleans off the clothes_   
_I keep a book of the names and those_

  
_Only go so far to bury them_   
_So deep and down we go_

They exchanged looks, then smiled.

"I can work on some chords for that" said Ray.

I grinned, getting excited.

They read all my songs. _Destroya, I Never Told You What I Do For a Living, You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison, Thank You For The Venom,_ even _Dead!_ , the song I was writing on detention.

The guys were so happy. They spent the entire day complementing me and creating the melody to the songs. Having the support of my friends made me more confident.

In the evening, we were just laid on the floor, in silence, too lazy to do or say anything. I was almost sleeping when I heard Frank's voice.

"I got Chemistry tomorrow. With the Jocks and Ashley and stuff."

"Good luck." Said Mikey.

"You'll need it." Ray complemented. I laughed.

"You know" Frank sat on the floor. "It's so unfair that we got detention and they didn't."

"Yeah. But what were we supposed to do?" I asked. "The principal would never prejudice his perfect hockey team."

We all remained in silence for a while. Frank was the one to speak again.

"I want revenge."

Ray, Mikey and I sat down and stared at him.

"What do you mean?" Ray asked.

"I mean that I'm tired. Tired of just being kicked. I want they to feel the same."

Ray and Mikey exchanged a look. I stared at the floor. Seconds later, my thoughts flew away. Suddenly I was back to that day on the rain, when the Jocks ripped my song.

"What do you want to do?" Mikey asked.

What was that phrase again?

"I want revenge. And I'll find my way to do it, in a more discreet way so that they won't find out it was me." Said Frank.

_You don't know what it means to be a joke and look, another line without a hook._

Mikey and Ray stared at him dead in the eye and smiled.

"Count me in."

"Me, too."

"Gee?"

They looked at me, expecting me to answer, but I was already leaving the garage.

"Gee? Where're you going?"

I didn't answer. I just needed a pen and a paper.

I ran to my bedroom and opened my notebook. The lyrics simply came, like they were always inside me. I didn't even had to think.

_I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means_ _  
To be a joke and look  
Another line without a hook  
I held you close as we both shook for the last time  
Take a good hard look_

"Gee?" Frank opened the door. "What happened? Are you okay?" Mikey and Ray were standing behind him. I closed my notebook.

"Yeah, I'm fine." They stared at me, a bit confused. "So, you were talking about revenge?"

Frank smiled.

"Yeah. You in?"

I thought for a few seconds. I wanted revenge, I really did. But not just pure revenge. I wanted something more.

"I want to do something." I said. "But not just revenge. That won't change a thing. We can't just fight fire with fire, they'll get their revenge on us later if they find out, and if they don't, nothing will change. I want something that make a difference. Not only for us, but also for all the other outcasts at school. I want a _revolution_."

I was so inspired by my speech. Unfortunately, the guys looked confused.

"How the hell are we supposed to do that?" Ray asked.

"I don't know." I answered.

"Let's stick with the revenge for now." Frank said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "By the way, we need a good plan."

Mikey smiled. In a very creepy way.

"Leave it to me."

I've always known Mikey was the type of person that is very quiet, but is always seeing and listening to everything. He asked us to pay attention on Zach in the next day, to see if we could find something weird.

We did.

"Why does he take so many medicines?" Frank asked during lunch.

"He's got some kind of addiction." I answered. "Maybe it works as some kind of drug or something."

"It's not drugs. It's Lorazepam." Mikey said.

"How do you know that?" Ray asked.

Without blinking, Mikey took a tube of Zach's medicine out of his bag and threw it on the table. We all stared at him, surprised.

"How did you got that?!" I asked. He shrugged and bit his sandwich.

Mikey scared me sometimes. I love that boy so much.

"Anyway, what do we do with this information?"

"As I said yesterday, we need to break their group from the inside. It's clear that Zach wants to keep that addiction a secret. We need to find a way to show the others."

"Without them knowing it was us." Frank complemented.

"Exactly." Mikey finished.

We remained in silence.

"And how are we gonna do that?"

Suddenly, I had an idea.

"Well, if he likes his medicines that much... Why don't we just give him what he wants?"

They all stared at me, confused. I smiled, the plan forming inside my head. 


	12. I Don't Feel Bad About It

**Gerard's POV:**

We needed a distraction. We needed the combination of Zach's locker. And we needed lots, _lots_ of medicine.

I'll always admire Frank's courage. He volunteered to be the distraction in the following day. A little bit earlier, Mikey hid close to Zach's locker to find out his combination. Ray bought about 60 tubes of Lorazepam, and actually managed to fit everything in his backpack.

We waited till the end of the classes to put our plan in action. Frank said goodbye to us and left school to meet with the Jocks outside and make sure they wouldn't enter while we were working.

Once he was out, Mikey opened the locker and we filled it with the medicines from Ray's backpack. It took a while, but it worked.

Finally, the three of us left, leaving no clues behind. We met with Frank outside.

He was gasping, had a bleeding nose and dirty clothes.

"Worth it." It was all he said.

On the other day, we were all actually excited to go to school. I wanted to be right there in the exact moment Zach opened his locker.

The four of us were standing next to Ray's locker when the Jocks entered the corridor. They walked towards us and slapped our heads, laughing. But, honestly, I couldn't care less.

"Wait, I need to get something." Zach said. _Yes, he was doing it!_

Still laughing, Zach opened his locker, only to see a wave of tubes of Lorazepam falling and making a loud noise. Everybody stared at him. The Jocks stopped laughing. The corridor was pure silence.

Zach's face started getting red and he loocked around, trying to figure it out what to do. In the end, he closed his locker forcefully, making a loud noise that echoed the corridor and left with the other Jocks.

Slowly, the corridor started being noisy again. I turned to the guys. We all smiled.

During the rest of the day, Zach's story was the principal subject in school. I always walk in silence, minding my own business, which makes easier to hear everybody gossiping about it. I tried to hold my smile, but it was hard sometimes.

At the end of the day, Mikey was late (as usual), and I was waiting for him at the school's gates. I opened my backpack to get my notebook, only to realize it wasn't there. After thinking for a couple of seconds, I remembered I had last used it in History class, so it should probably be there.

I entered the school again and walked across the empty halls. Entered History classroom, and there it was: my notebook on the table. I got it and left.

And saw that the corridor wasn't empty anymore.

"WAY!" Zach screamed. "I KNOW it was you!" he got closer, walking with his fists closed.

Before I could do anything, he grabbed me by the collar. We were face to face. He was red of anger.

"I wanted to find Iero, I know it was his idea." He was so angry he was shaking.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, calmly. He punched me in the face.

"DON'T PLAY YOUR STUPID GAMES WITH ME!!" Zach screamed. "As I said, I wanted to find Iero. But you'll do it."

I stared at him, wondering what he would do.

"You like to put things in people's lockers, huh? Let's change places, then."

Without letting me go, he kicked the closest locker, that opened right away. Then, he pushed me to come in. I struggled and he punched me in the stomach, taking my breath away.

Finally, he closed the door. I couldn't move, who'd say open the door.

"I hope your little friends remember to look for you." It was the last thing I heard, followed by footsteps, that got more far way each second.

I tried moving or struggling. Useless. Couldn't move. Couldn't reach my phone. My best option was wait for Mikey to find me.

Through the small gaps on the door, I had a poor vision of the corridor. All I could see was a bunch of lockers and the janitor's closet's door. A couple of minutes later, I heard footsteps. I was about to scream for help, when I heard voices.

"C'mon, quick." Said a familiar feminine voice.

When they were in front of the janitor's closet, I could finally see who was: Mrs. Rivera, our P.E. teacher, and Mr. Franklin, our math teacher.

She looked around, as if certifying they were alone, and then entered the janitor's closet. He followed her.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Were they doing what I thought they were doing?

When the moaning started, I was sure.

They stayed there for what I thought it was 10 minutes, until the door opened. Mrs. Rivera left. She seemed... Fine. She looked around and then turned right to leave. Then, Mr. Franklin left. He was exhausted, had messy hair, was gasping. He also looked around before leaving.

Was I dreaming or my teachers had an affair?

I don't know how long I stayed there, in shock. What made me go back to Earth was when I heard Mikey screaming for me.

"Gerard? Gerard, where are you?"

"MIKEY!" I screamed and started struggling again.

"Gerard?" Mikey walked towards the locker I was and stood right in front of me. "You're there? Why?"

"Because it's very comfortable, Mikey, I love it." He rolled his eyes and opened the door. I left and stretched.

"Now, really?" Mikey asked, wanting to know what had happened. I explained as we walked home.

"But this isn't the best part. Not that being locked was good, but still."

"What?"

"I'll tell when we're with the guys."

"They have an AFFAIR?!" Frank screamed in my garage.

"Wow. Unbelievable." Said Mikey.

"This is crazy!" Ray exclaimed.

"What do we do?" Frank asked.

I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"What do we do with this information?"

We remained in silence for a while.

"I mean, I could use some extra credit on my math grades." Ray broke the silence.

"It would be the end of P.E.!" Mikey said, happy. Frank smiled, agreeing.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you want to THREAT the teachers?"

They remained in silence.

"Threat is a very strong word." Frank whispered.

"You can't be serious." When they kept in silence, I started talking again. "You won't say a thing. This information can't leave this garage."

They sighed.

"Okay." Mikey said, despondent.

"Fine, mom." Frank said, a bit mad, but he was laughing.

"It's crazy how this school is so full of secrets. I bet there's so much more we have no idea about."

We all nodded.

"Anyway, what have we got for today?" I changed the subject, wanting to start the rehearsal.

Frank jumped out of the sofa and gave me his notebook. I read the lyrics as he got this guitar.

_Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your_   
_own_   
_If I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes?_   
_Cause I've spent the night dancing, I'm drunk I_   
_suppose_   
_If it looks like I'm laughing I'm really just asking_   
_to leave_

_Give me a shot to remember_   
_And you can take all the pain away from me_   
_A kiss and I will surrender_   
_The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead_   
_A light to burn all the empires_   
_So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be_   
_In love with all these vampires_   
_So you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

I smiled. This kid never failed to impress me.


	13. You Never Learn A Goddamn Thing

**Frank's POV:**

About a week later, the school announced the annual Winter Ball.

That was all the school could talk about. Especially the girls, all suspiring and talking about dresses, dances and how they wanted the boys to invite them.

I always hated balls. Normally, I would just stay at home or go out with the guys, but there were times when I went to the ball, if I felt like it, or there was nothing better to do.

Later that day, I met with Amanda on the corridor. She was wearing the cheerleader outfit and jumping as she walked, super excited.

"I'm so happy for the Winter Ball! It's gonna be great!"

I shrugged.

"I don't see what's funny with balls. Just people wearing pompous clothes and dancing."

"Oh, c'mon." she stopped walking and stood right in front of me. "It's cool! Dressing up, dancing, the music, the lights, everything, is magical!"

I laughed.

"If you say so."

We kept walking.

"So you're not going?" she asked me.

I thought for a few seconds.

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know. What about you? Got a date yet?"

She shook her head, denying.

"Oh." I said. "Well, don't worry. I'm pretty sure someone will invite you."

"Oh, no, I have been invited." She said, calmly. "I just said no to all of them."

I frowned.

"Why?"

"Well... I was waiting for someone in specific to invite me."

I raised my eyebrows, understanding.

"And he hasn't."

"Nope. He just can't take a hint." She sighed.

"Wow. What an idiot."

"Yes." Amanda had her fists closed and teeth clenched. She looked really annoyed. "Yes, what an idiot."

I laughed.

"Well, I hope he realizes how stupid he's being and invite you already."

She sighed again.

"I don't think he's gonna."

I gave her a sad smile.

"Good luck. I gotta go now. Bye."

"Bye."

I entered the classroom and sat down, thinking about Amanda and the ball. I know how important the ball is to her, and I really hope whoever that guy is, he takes a hint and invite her. She's an amazing girl and deserves a fun ball.

All I wanted to know was: Who's that guy?

During lunch, I was going to the cafeteria a little late than usual. I was walking through the corridor when I received a message.

_Frank, don't came to the cafeteria. The Jocks are here. Go to the bathroom._

It was Gerard. So the Jocks were messing up with us again. They hadn't stopped, but their bullying had diminished.What were they doing that Gerard wanted me to hide?

I didn't want to know. I immediately changed my path and went to the closest bathroom. I entered one of the cabins and sat on the closed toilet with my feet on the lid, so nobody outside would see me in there.

I stayed there for a while. In silence. Thinking about my friends. I sent Gerard a message but he didn't reply.

Suddenly, someone entered the bathroom. I looked through the space under the door and saw feet walking. Whoever it was, entered the cabin next to me.

I thought it was just someone going to pee and was about to ignore it, when I looked through the space below the cabins partition and saw, instead of a just male feet, female feet wearing black heels.

There were no voices, no one was speaking. But by the sounds I heard and the movements of their feet, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what they were doing.

I knew it was wrong, but my curiosity was killing me. Who were they?

Silently, I stood up on the toilet and held my phone up. In the matter of two seconds, I manage to take a picture of them from above. Then, I sat on the toilet again to look at the picture.

And I almost gave in with the shock.

It was Carter. And Courtney.

But doesn't Carter dates Danna? And doesn't Courtney dates Sam? Jocks cheating on each other? That was even better than expected.

After a while, they both left the bathroom. I stayed a little longer, just to make sure.

If our revenge plan was good before, it was about to became even better. 


	14. I Think We Rather Be Burning Your Information

**Frank's POV:**

"What happened in lunch?" I asked when I met with the guys outside the school.

"Jocks. Messing around." Mikey answered.

"Was it that bad for you to tell me to hide?"

"Not that much. But if you can avoid it..." Gerard said, and smiled to me. I smiled back.

"So you spent lunch on the bathroom?" Ray asked.

"Seems cool." Mikey added, ironically.

"Actually, it was _preeeetty_ interesting." I said, almost singing. They frowned and I smiled. "Turns out I wasn't alone. Carter was there. And so was Courtney."

"What was she doing th-" Mikey stopped when he understood. They all raised their eyebrows.

"Doesn't she date Sam?" Ray asked.

"And Carter dates Danna." Gerard finished.

"Exactly." I smiled. "That makes it even better, doesn't it?"

They all stayed in silence, stupefied.

"I wish I had seen that." Ray said.

"Oh, no worries, my friend. I can provide the best of views for you." I held my phone with the picture I had taken. They all exclaimed in surprise.

"No way!"

"How did you..."

"They didn't see you?" Gerard asked.

"Well, if they had, I'd probably be dead by now."

"Fair enough."

"Guys, this is, like, the perfect revenge! As I said, breaking their group from the inside! They'll be too busy fighting each other to fight us!" Mikey was really excited.

"Yes, it's awesome. But we need to use this information wisely." Gerard said. "We cant just put this picture everywhere, we need to think of a good plan to cause the most damage we can."

"I agree." I commented. "Let's keep this just between us for now. We'll use it in the right time."

The three of them nodded.

We rehearsed our songs at Gerard's garage. We were getting better every day. Playing original songs gave me the feeling My Chemical Romance was more real than just an idea, or a group of friends playing at a garage.

We took a break in the afternoon. I saw Gerard sitting on the floor, writing in his notebook. I got closer from behind and read what he had written.

_I miss you_

_I miss you so far_

_And the collision of your kiss_

"I'm stuck." He said, without turning to face me. "Got any ideas?"

I sat next to him and thought for a while.

"What rhymes with _far_?" I asked to myself. We both remained in silence.

" _And the collision of your kiss... That made it... So hard?"_ I said.

Gerard smiled.

"I liked it."

"Really?! That's awesome!!" Mikey screamed behind us. We turned to face him and saw he was on the phone. "Thank you so much!! I'll tell them!! Thank you!" he turned to us with the biggest smile.

"What was that?" Ray asked.

"Okay, I didn't want to tell you yet because i wasn't sure if it would happen." Mikey started. "But I talked to a friend of mine who's on the Winter Ball's organization team and she manage to give us an audition to play at the ball!"

"No way!" I got up jumping and ran towards Mikey. "Really?!"

"Yeah! We'll have to play for all the organization group, and if they like it, they'll let us play there!"

"Oh, my God!" Ray screamed, too.

The three of us started talking and screaming together, until I realized Gerard still sitting on the floor, staring at us, silently.

"Gerard?" I asked. Mikey and ray stopped talking and looked at him.

"Are you okay?" Ray asked.

"Aren't you excited, Gee?" said Mikey.

"No, I am." He stood up. "It's just... Do you really think we're good enough?"

We raised our eyebrows.

"Yes!"

"Of course!"

"Who cares?" I said. "We'll never grow as a band if we just keep playing in a garage. They might not like us, but we need to try."

"We can't let a chance like this go to waste." Mikey finished.

Gerard remained in silence for a while. Then, bowed his head and sighed. Once he raised it again, he gave us a sad smile and said "You're right."

I smiled. I knew he wasn't sure. He was insecure and didn't have faith in himself that much to sing original songs in public. But Gerard being Gerard, he was brave enough to try. That was all I needed.

I walked towards him and pulled him in a hug. Suddenly, Mikey was also hugging us, and the Ray. A group hug.

"We're gonna do it. And it's gonna be awesome." I whispered.

They all agreed. 


	15. Sing It Out

**Gerard's POV:**

When I got to school, my stomach was turning with anxiety. The day we were going to audition to the Winter Ball's organization team finally came.

I tried to calm myself down, saying everything would be fine and whatever happened, happened. It wasn't working very well, though.

In the middle of the school day, our classes were cancelled and the principal called all the students - grade by grade – to talk to us.

"The Winter Ball is a beautiful tradition here in our school. Thus, it is important that you are respectful and follow the rules imposed."

Then, he spent about 20 minutes talking about what to dress and what not to do and how to behave and whatever. He did that every year. Nobody ever payed attention, but, this time, I did. Because I was actually going to the ball. Well, probably. If the organization group accepted us.

"In order to make an outstanding evening, you'll now be sent to a dance class."

Now, everybody was paying attention. And complaining.

"Dance class?"

"What the hell?"

"We never had that before!"

"Why?"

"Silence!" the principal screamed. "You are seniors now. Thus, must represent the school by means of dance, which must be impeccable. Now, follow Mrs. Maire to your dance class.

We followed our literature teacher to the library. Everybody was whining and complaining.

Once we got there, Mrs. Maire made us get in pairs and started teaching us how to dance.

Ray, Frank and I manage to run away and hide through the book shelves. Suddenly, I received a message from Mikey.

_Emily said our audition is in about 20 minutes. Where are you?_

I answered.

_Library. Apparently seniors have dance classes for the ball??_

A few seconds later, he replied.

_Lol! Wanna see that. I'm coming._

I locked my phone and looked up, only to see Mrs. Maire staring at me, Frank and Ray, very mad.

"Go." It was all she said.

The problem was not only that we didn't want to dance. It was that no girl wanted to dance with us.

After insisting a lot, Mrs. Maire sighed and let us sit. We sat on some chairs in the middle of the library, close to a globe. Mrs. Maire put a disc on the old phonograph and all the seniors started dancing around us.

"Wow. That's super weird." Said Mikey when he arrived. He sat with us and we kept waiting while watching the others dance. I looked at Carter dancing with Danna and laughed.

"C'mon, guys, it's time." Mikey said after a while, showing us a message from his friend Emily.

I felt my stomach turning again as I got up, my anxiety consuming me. Frank put his hand on my shoulder and smiled. I took a deep breath and we walked away.

We explained the situation to Mrs. Maire and she dismissed us. We walked towards the auditorium and got there a few minutes later.

"There you are!" said a light brown-haired girl when we arrived. She was really small.

"Hey, Emily." Mikey said. She smiled and turned around.

"C'mon, came fast! We don't have much time!"

She guided us to the backstage.

"Enter when you're ready. But don't take too long." Her voice was very sharp.

We nodded and she left. We faced each other in a circle. I sighed.

"So... It's time."

They all sighed and laughed at the same time.

"Let's rock this place" Frank said, and we all hugged. Then, we left the backstage to the real stage.

All the instruments were already there. In the audience, there were about 20 people, all the organization team. I didn't know many of them, except for Emily and... Ashley?

A Jock's girlfriend was about to see us playing in public for the first time. That didn't helped my anxiety at all.

She looked annoyed and a bit disgusted. Guess she didn't want to see the band of the guy who made her faint play.

We all went to our respective instruments. The microphone was right in the center of the stage and I walked there. While the boys were checking their guitars and bass, I decided it would be good to make a little introduction.

"Uh..." I touched the microphone with my finger to make sure it was working. "Hi... We're My Chemical Romance... And we're playing an original song today... It's called _Vampire Money."_

I saw Ashley twist her nose when she heard the name of the song. But, honestly, I couldn't care less.

The drums started playing. It was now or never.

"Well, are you ready, Ray?" I said, in the rhythm of the song.

"Yeah!" he answered.

"How 'bout you, Frank?"

"Oh, I'm there, baby!" he laughed a bit.

"How 'bout you, Mikey?"

"Fucking ready!"

"Well, I think I'm alright!" I said. "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!" we screamed.

The guitars and the bass began. I stomped my feet, cheerful.

"Three, two, one, we came to fuck" the people in the audience looked a bit scared. I thought it was hilarious. "Everybody party 'til the gasman comes"

And so, we continued playing the song.

_Sparkle like Bowie in the morning sun_

_And get a parking violation on La Brea 'til it's done_

_Hair back, collar up, jet black, so cool_

_Sing it like the kids that are mean to you_

I began to sing the chorus as the three of them screamed "C'mon!" in the back.

_(C'mon!) When you wanna be a movie star_

_(C'mon!) Play the game and take the band real far_

_(C'mon!) Play it right and drive a Volvo car_

_(C'mon!) Pick a fight in an airport bar_

_The kids don't care if you're alright, honey_

_Pills don't help but it sure is funny_

_Gimmie gimmie some of that vampire money_

_C'mon!_

The guitars rocking again. I saw that, in the audience, some of the people were not scared or thinking we were weird like they were before. They seemed to be actually enjoying it.

"You look like somebody I used to know." I said.

_Well three, two, one, we got the bomb_

_Everybody hurry 'til the tax man comes_

_Glimmer like Bolan in the morning sun_

_And get your finger on the trigger_

_Tap the barrel of a gun_

_Hair back, motherfucker! Jet black, so cool_

_Sing It like the kids that are mean to you_

_(C'mon!) When you wanna be a movie star_

_(C'mon!) Play the game and take the band real far_

_(C'mon!) Play it right and drive a Volvo car_

_(C'mon!) Pick a fight in an airport bar_

_The kids don't care if you're alright, honey_

_Pills don't help but it sure is funny_

_Gimmie gimmie some of that vampire money_

_C'mon!_

"That's right!" I said. "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!" we screamed!

It was the guitar solo part. Frank and Ray were detonating, as usual. People on the audience seemed impressed.

I started singing again.

_Well, three, two, one, we came to fuck_

_Everybody party till the gasman comes_

_Sparkle like Bowie in the morning sun_

_And get a parking violation on La Brea 'til it's done_

_Hair back, collar up, jet black, so cool_

_Sing it like the kids that are mean to you_

_(C'mon!) When you wanna be a movie star_

_(C'mon!) Play the game and take the band real far_

_(C'mon!) Play it right and drive a Volvo car_

_(C'mon!) Pick a fight in an airport bar_

_The kids don't care if you're alright, honey_

_Pills don't help but it sure is funny_

_Gimmie gimmie some of that vampire money_

_C'mon!_

_C'mon!_

_C'mon!_

_C'mon!_

_Come on!_

_On! On! On! On!_

And we were finished.

First, nobody said a thing. The auditorium was completely silent.

Then, people started clapping. First, slowly. The, faster.

Everybody was clapping and smiling. Well, everybody except for Ashley. But besides that, they had really enjoyed!

"Thank you!" I said, and we left the stage.

When the four of us met at the backstage, we stared at each other... And then screamed.

"We did it!"

"It was awesome!"

"Amazing!"

"We rocked!"

We hugged each other in a group again. Suddenly, someone entered the backstage.

"You were great, guys!" said Emily. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" we answered.

"So, later we'll have a discussion about the ball with the principal and stuff." She looked at Mikey. "I call you later to give the verdict." He nodded.

She then smiled and turned around to leave. We did the same.


	16. What's The Worst Thing I Could Say?

**Gerard's POV:**

We waited for Emily's call the entire day. Guess we were all too anxious to know if we would have our first show in the ball!

Sometime during the middle of the afternoon, we were in my garage just laying around doing nothing, when we heard Mikey's phone ringing.

"Answer it!" Frank screamed.

Mikey ran across the garage and grabbed his phone.

"Put it on speaker!" I whispered.

He pressed something on his phone and then we all could hear Emily's voice.

"Mikey?" she said.

"Hi!" he answered. The rest of us just remained in silence.

"So, I just left the reunion. We voted and talked to the principal about your band."

Silence.

"And...?" Mikey asked.

"Almost everybody voted yes." I knew exactly who said no. "And then we tried to convince the principal. At first, he didn't want to. But in the end... He accepted."

Immediately, Frank, Ray and I started screaming in silence, dancing and jumping around, cheering. Mikey tried hard not to laugh.

"Mikey?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, what?" Mikey said, between laughs. "Oh, right, thank you, Emily, really! Thank you so much!"

She laughed.

"No biggie. Oh, by the way, the only thing the principal asked is that you play some more clean songs. That means no 'three, two, one, we came to fuck', okay?"

Mikey laughed.

"Yeah, sure, sorry."

"Okay, great! Congratulations! Hope you rock the night!"

"Sure! Thanks again, Emily. Bye."

"Bye!"

Mikey turned off the phone. We stayed in silence for two seconds. Then, we all screamed, jumped and danced at the same time.

There was nothing good about going to school on the other day. Still, I was excited. Now, I was counting the days to the ball. We had more or less three weeks to rehearse and choose some songs to play there. We decided to play some covers, too, mixed with our original songs.

Mikey and I met with Frank and Ray at Ray's locker. We were all happy that morning.

"We could rehearse a bit today and choose the songs of the track list." Frank said. "How many songs can we play?"

"About nine, I guess." Mikey said. "It's a small show."

We all nodded, still smiling.

Suddenly, a group of people entered the corridor making a lot of noise. We looked at them and realized it was the Jocks and some cheerleaders. And they were walking directly towards us.

"Are you insane?" Blake screamed when he was close enough to talk to us.

We didn't even had time to respond. The Jocks made a semicircle around us, holding us against the lockers.

"Have you lost your mind, bunch of idiots?" he continued, looking directly to me. "What were you thinking? Playing at the Winter Ball? Do you really think we're gonna let you?"

I looked behind Blake and saw Ashley in the back, observing with a smile. Obviously, she told them.

"You don't have to allow anything." Frank said. Carter punched him in the stomach.

"I don't remember giving you the permission to talk." He said. If he had oxygen, Frank would probably have answered. Gladly he didn't have it.

"If you really thought we would just sit quietly and listen you play your vampiric songs and chemical romances in our ball, you are dead wrong."

We remained in silence. I stared at Blake dead in the eye. I didn't know what to say, so I just didn't say anything.

Then, Blake laughed.

"Look, I'm feeling merciful today, so I'm gonna give you another chance." He passed his gaze on each of us. "Treat this as a warning. Don't play in the ball and we'll be fine. But I swear, if you go..." he pushed me against the lockers before leaving.

When all the Jocks left, my friends and I stared at each other. Neither of us knew what to say or what to do. Honestly, I was so done I didn't want to deal with that right now. The bell rang. I sighed and left.

"I can't really process what happened." Mikey said, lying on the sofa.

"We were THREATENED. THAT'S what happened." Frank screamed as he walked around the garage.

On my house, later that day, was the only time we could actually get together to talk about the threat. Mikey, Ray and Frank had been discussing the situation for about half an hour. I could only listen.

"What are we going to do now?" Ray asked.

Nobody responded. Then, Mikey sighed.

"Guess I'll just call Emily and say were over."

Suddenly, I stood up. They all stared at me.

"No." I said, with conviction. "No. I'm done. I'm tired of being afraid."

They looked at each other and then stared at me.

"What do you mean?" Mikey asked.

"I'm mean I'm not giving up. Not now that we've come so far. Not because of a stupid threat. I'm gonna play in that useless ball. And whatever they do to me later, it's gonna be worth it."

Frank smiled and walked towards me.

"Yeah! That's the attitude. I agree!"

Mikey and Ray stared at each other. Ray smiled.

"I'm in."

Mikey bent his head and sighed.

"We're all dead anyway."

Frank screamed really loud, happy.

"Yeah! Music first, consequences later!"

We all laughed and screamed, too. 


	17. The World Is Ugly, But You Are Beautiful To Me

**Frank's POV:**

Three weeks passed. Really. Slowly. But the day of the Winter Ball finally came.

We had rehearsed a bunch of covers and original songs – the ones we thought were more "clean" – and I felt confident enough to play them. I was so excited.

In the beginning of the night, I left my house and walked to Gerard's. We were all going together. When I got there, his mom answered the door.

"Hello, Frankie!" she said with a smile.

"Hi, Mrs. Way."

"Come in!"

I entered the house and saw Ray sitting in the couch. I sat next to him. We talked for a while and finally, the Ways showed up.

"You girls take too long to get ready." I said. They laughed.

"Shut up." Said Gerard. "C'mon, let's go."

"Leaving already?" Mrs. Way showed up from the kitchen. "Don't worry, I'll take you!"

Gerard widened his eyes.

"No, mom, it's not necessary..."

"What? Of course it is! I'll take you!"

"Mom, school is very close, we can walk..."

"It's the first time my babies are playing in public! There's no way I'll let you walk and get all sweaty. C'mon, get in the car right now, I'll get my keys."

She left to get the keys. Gerard and Mikey were bright red. Ray and I laughed really hard. I walked towards them and put my hands on their shoulders.

"C'mon, babies. I don't wanna be late."

"Bye, bye, dears! Tell me all about it later! Have fun! But be safe! Goodbye!" Mrs. Way screamed from the car, parked in front of the school. Gerard and Mikey were trying really hard to run away.

"Bye, Mrs. Way! Thanks for the ride!" I screamed back, just to embarrass them even more. "We'll tell you, don't worry!"

Gerard grabbed me and dragged me to the school door.

Once there, we walked to the gymnasium, where the ball was happening. The corridor was decorated with white stripes, lights and paper snowflakes. There were some people walking through the corridors and some couples making out but mostly, it was empty.

Then, we finally got to the gymnasium. There were lots of people wearing dresses and fancy clothes, the same decoration of the corridors, but much more present and abundant, some tables, a large one full of food, music playing, people dancing and a stage.

The stage.

It was smaller then the one in the auditorium, but still big. All the instruments were there, waiting for us.

Suddenly, I looked around and realized I was alone. I started walking, looking for my friends, when I heard someone calling me.

"Frankie?"

I turned around and saw her.

She was wearing a long light blue dress and had some curls on her short blond hair.

"Amanda!" I walked towards her. "Wow! You look beautiful!"

She blushed and turned her head.

"Thanks. You look good, too."

I smiled.

"I guess I never asked you." I said. "Who did you come with? Did that guy invite you?"

She sighed.

"No, he didn't. I came with Leo." She pointed to a brown-haired guy a bit far away.

"Cool!" I smiled again.

"And you? I thought you weren't coming. Who'd you bring?" she asked.

"Oh, no one. I'm here to play, not for the ball itself."

She widened her eyes.

"Play? With the band?"

I nodded.

"Frank, are you crazy? What about the Jocks?"

I forgot I had told her about the threat. I just didn't say we decided to play anyway.

I shrugged.

"We don't care. Nothing's gonna stop us from playing tonight."

Amanda smirked, but then got serious again.

"Okay. I'm rooting for you. Just be careful."

I smiled and nodded. I was about to talk again, when I received a message.

_Where are you?_

It was Gerard. He then sent me another one.

_Come to the backstage._

"Sorry, gotta go." I told Amanda. She nodded and smiled.

"Good luck."

I said goodbye and walked towards the backstage. 


	18. The Roar Of The Crowd Gave Me Heartache To Sing

**Gerard's POV:**

When Frank entered the backstage, we were ready to go. Emily was there, coordinating and stuff. She said some guys were testing the instruments and the sound, and everything was fine.

"Wait here until I say you can go." She said before leaving the four of us alone.

We remained in silence, until Frank sighed.

"This is insane." He stopped, and then continued. "Look at how far we've come."

Silence.

"And to think it all started with some instruments and a garage." Mikey said.

"And covers." Ray complemented. "Even that has changed."

Frank sighed.

"And now we're here. And I regret nothing."

"Me neither." Ray and Mikey said in unision.

I stood up. They looked at me.

"Tonight is just the beginning. The beginning of a long road. And I'm glad to have you with me."

They all stood up, too, and walked towards me. We made a circle, looked at each other and then hugged.

A few minutes later, Emily showed up.

"C'mon." she said. "It's time."

We entered the stage. People weren't paying attention, but when the guys started testing the guitars and the bass, they looked at us. Some looked confused. Others, annoyed. I felt my stomach turn when I saw the Jocks giving us a death look. But it was too late to turn back now.

And even if it wasn't, I wouldn't turn back.

"Hi, good evening." I started. All the people who weren't looking at us before were now. "We're My Chemical Romance and we are gonna play some songs to you tonight, originals and covers. This is an original song, it's called _Bulletproof Heart_."

The guitar started. I took a deep breath and started singing.

_Gravity_ _  
_ _Don't mean too much to me_ _  
_ _I'm who I've got to be_ _  
_ _These pigs are after me, after you_ _  
  
_ _Run away_ _  
_ _Like it was yesterday_ _  
_ _And we could run away_ _  
_ _If we could run away_ _  
_ _Run away from here_

Then, the song really started, with all the instruments. I kept singing.

_I got a bulletproof heart_ _  
_ _You got a hollow point smile_ _  
_ _Me and your runaway scars_ _  
_ _Got a photograph dream on a getaway mile_ _  
  
_ _Let's blow a hole in this town_ _  
_ _And too much talking with a lazer beam_ _  
_ _Gunnin' out of this place_ _  
_ _In a bullet's embrace_ _  
_ _Then we'll do it again_

I saw the crowd getting closer to the stage. They were actually... Enjoying?

_How can they say_ _  
_ _Jenny could you come back home?_ _  
_ _Cause everybody knows you don't_ _  
_ _Ever wanna come back_ _  
_ _Let me be the one to save you_ _  
  
_ _Gravity_ _  
_ _Don't mean too much to me_ _  
_ _I'm who I've got to be_ _  
_ _These pigs are after me, after you_ _  
  
_ _Run away_ _  
_ _Like it was yesterday_ _  
_ _When we could run away_ _  
_ _If we could run away, run away from here_

They were! Except for the Jocks and some cheerleaders, who were at the end of the gymnasium, looking at us with an angry expression. Honestly, fuck them! Everybody else was enjoying!

_I'm shootin' out of this room_ _  
_ _Because I sure would like the company_ _  
_ _Stop your preachin' right there_ _  
_ _'Cause I really don't care_ _  
_ _And I'll do it again_ _  
  
_ _So get me out of my head,_ _  
_ _Cause it's getting kind of cramped, you know_ _  
_ _Comin' ready or not_ _  
_ _When the motor gets hot_ _  
_ _We can do it again_ _  
  
_ _The papers say_ _  
_ _Johnny won't you come back home_ _  
_ _Cause everybody knows you don't_ _  
_ _Wanna give yourself up_ _  
_ _Tell the truth and God will save you_ _  
  
_ _Gravity_ _  
_ _Don't mean too much to me_ _  
_ _I'm who I've got to be_ _  
_ _These pigs are after me, after you_ _  
  
_ _Run away_ _  
_ _Like it was yesterday_ _  
_ _And we could run away_ _  
_ _If we could run away, run away from here_

And we were done. Everybody cheered and clapped.

"Thank you so much!" I said and smiled. "This next one is called _Thank You For The Venom."_

The melody began with the guitars. I held the microphone started singing.

_Sister, I'm not much a poet, but a criminal_ _  
And you never had a chance_ _  
_ _Love it, or leave it, you can't understand_ _  
_ _A pretty face, but you do so carry on,_ _  
_ _and on,_ _  
_ _and on_

My gaze swept across the gymnasium to where the Jocks once stood. They were no longer there. Weird.

  
_I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me_ _  
_ _I'm just the way that the doctor made me, on,_ _  
_ _and on,_ _  
_ _and on,_ _  
_ _and on_ _  
_ _Love is the red of the rose on your coffin door_ _  
_ _What's life like, bleeding on the floor,_ _  
_ _the floor,_ _  
_ _the floor_

Suddenly, I heard noises coming from the sides of the stage. I looked and saw some Jocks hooting. I ignored and kept singing.

_You'll never make me leave_ _  
_ _I wear this on my sleeve_ _  
_ _Give me a reason to believe_ _  
  
_ _So give me all your poison_ _  
_ _And give me all your pills_ _  
_ _And give me all your hopeless hearts_ _  
_ _And make me ill_ _  
_ _You're running after something_ _  
_ _That you'll never kill_ _  
_ _If this is what you want_ _  
_ _Then fire at will_

But then, it happened something I couldn't ignore: the sound turned off.

No more amplifiers, speakers or microphone. No one could listen to us anymore.

I turned my back and saw that Ray, Frank and Mikey were just as confused as I was.

I looked to the left and saw people entering the stage.

"The show is over! Thank you so much!" said Blake, followed by Carter and Zach. "This clownery is over! Get out!"

He walked towards me, and the others walked to my friends. Blake took the microphone out of my hands and tested it by touching it, until it started working again.

"The show is over!" he said and dropped the microphone. The Jocks and cheerleaders in the crowd were still hooting.

I turned around and saw about four Jocks. They were pulling the instruments of my friends. Frank held the guitar firmly, and it took two Jocks to pull it off. After taking our instruments, they came towards us and started pushing us out of the stage. We struggled, but it was useless. A minute later, all of us were in the backstage again.

"Don't say we didn't warn you." It was the only thing Blake said. They dropped the guitars and the bass on the ground and left, like it wasn't a big deal. 


	19. You Are All To Blame

**Gerard's POV:**

I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I couldn't think. I was just trying to process everything.

Everything was going fine. Perfectly fine. For the first time, people were actually glad to see us. We weren't the weirdos, the outcasts. And they had to ruin everything.

Everyone on the backstage was screaming. Mikey and Ray were talking to Emily, trying to sort things out and Frank was with that friend of his, Amanda.

I was trying to control myself, but I could feel the anger going through my veins, so hot it burned. I could feel my body shaking. All I could feel was anger. I was made of anger.

No, not anger. Hate.

"That's ENOUGH!" I screamed, standing up. They all looked at me. "ENOUGH! I'M DONE! I'M NOT JUST GONNA TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

I was literally shaking. Mikey got closer to me.

"Gerard, you're shaking! Sit down."

"NO! I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING, IT'S NOT GONNA END LIKE THIS!"

Frank stood right in front of me.

"Gee, are you okay?"

How many times had this question been made? And how many times had I lied? No, enough is enough. I was tired of hiding.

"NO! I'M NOT OKAY! I'M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY! AND I WON'T BE UNTIL WE DO SOMETHING!"

"But there's nothing we can do." Ray commented.

I huffed.

"YES, WE CAN! AND I WILL!"

I walked to the door and left the backstage, going to the corridor. The hate inside me was consuming me and I couldn't ratiocinate.

"Gerard!" I heard Frank scream. But I didn't care. I was finding them, whether my friends were helping me or not.

I came back to the gymnasium. I looked everywhere, but didn't see any of the Jocks. Suddenly, it hit me. I knew where they were.

I entered the corridor again and walked until I was at the parking lot. As I thought, there were the Jocks. Only the five worst of them. There were also some cheerleaders, like Ashley, Danna and Courtney.

Normally, I wouldn't have the guts to do such a thing. But the hate inside me gave me the courage I was needing.

"HEY, YOU!" I screamed. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET US BE?!"

I caught them by surprise, so they didn't have time to react, I grabbed Blake by the collar. He was taller then me, but I felt bigger.

"We NEVER did anything to you before. WHY you have the need to treat us like garbage? Your self-esteem is so low you need to bully others to feel better?"

He finally pushed me away.

"I treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the piece of shit you are."

I spat on him.

Suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind.

"This will help you understand your place." He punched me, but I didn't even feel it. "Interrupting that stupid freak show of yours? That was a favor. Do you really think someone would like that? Do you really think you'll ever be anything?"

"I already am. And I'm better than you."

Before he could punch me again, I kicked him in the balls. He grunted and fell on his knees. Carter appeared from behind him, full of hate.

"You little shit."

He was about to punch me, when, suddenly, we heard someone screamed.

"Leave him alone!"

Whoever was holding me, let me go. I turned around to see Zach with his hands on his head and grunting, and Frank, holding a tough twig. Behind him, Mikey, Ray and Amanda were running towards us.

I felt a pain in my back and turned to see Carter punching me. I pushed him and punched him in the stomach.

Soon, the parking lot was a mess. The nine of us fighting, kicking, punching, rolling on the floor. Suddenly, I heard Sam screaming.

"See? This is what true friendship feels like." I turned and saw that Sam and Carter were punching Frank, together. "Punching idiots together."

Frank just bursted into laughter.

"True friendship? Oh, please... if you only knew..." Frank's eyes widened, like he had remembered something. "In fact, I guess I can help you!"

Frank took his phone out of his pocket, looked for something in it, and then, showed the phone to Sam and Carter.

The phone's light shined in the dark parking lot. Everybody stopped what they were doing and looked at Frank.

I knew exactly what was that.

The picture he took in the bathroom.

The parking lot was pure silence.

Until Sam broke it.

"You son of a bitch" and jumped over Carter.

They started fighting and rolling on the floor. I took the opportunity and began to punch Blake again.

"You are a BITCH! I KNEW IT!" Danna was screaming while slapping Courtney.

"Oh, please, stop whining!"

They began fighting, too. Ashley tried to stop them, but she couldn't.

The fight was easier now. Since Sam and Carter were fighting each other, it was the four of us against three Jocks. They were still stronger than us, but we were making the most out of it.

"What's going on?" screamed someone a few minutes later. I turned to see Mr. Franklin walking towards us, with Amanda in the back.

He managed to separate the fight. All of us – my friends, Jocks, the girls – had bruises, marks, scratches, purple eyes, contusions, everything. Carter and Sam still stared at each other with anger.

Mr. Franklin spent a long time giving us a lecture, but I wasn't listening. My ears were buzzing, my thoughts, far away.

The second the math teacher left, I walked away. My friends followed me. I heard Blake scream in the back "this isn't over!", but I only raised my hand and showed the middle finger, without turning to face him. 


	20. If Life Ain't Just a Joke, Then Why Are We Laughing?

**Gerard's POV:**

"Thank you." Amanda said when the waitress gave her ice cubes and a cloth. She started to put it on Frank's black eye.

"Ouch!" he said and moved away from her.

"Stand still." She answered and kept doing it.

After the fight, I couldn't stand being on that school anymore. I left, and my friends followed. Amanda came, too.

We walked in silence for a while. I wanted to go home, but I didn't want to face my parents. Not yet.

We walked passed a drugstore and Amanda insisted on buying some bandages and stuff. We went to a snack bar and sat in one of the booths. Mikey, Ray and I on one booth seat and Amanda and Frank on the other. Amanda asked for ice and helped us with the bandage. I understood why Frank was friends with her. She's nice. I just don't understand why she hangs out with the Jocks and other cheerleaders.

"That was mental." She said.

"Yeah, Gee, what were you thinking?" Mikey asked.

I sighed.

"I don't know. I wasn't. I'm sorry." I lowered my head.

"Don't be." Said Frank. We all stared at him. "I don't regret anything. We might be all broken now, but so are they. And they deserved it. Ouch." He exclaimed when Amanda put the ice on his eye again. She whispered "sorry" and kept putting.

"Oh, well." Said Ray. "I guess we declared war."

"You know what? Frank's right. They needed this. We can't just let them treat us like garbage forever." Mikey said. "And my plan worked! That picture broke them a little. Maybe would be better if we showed them the picture without them knowing Frank took it... But whatever."

"There's so many secrets around this school..." Amanda commented.

"You have no idea." I finished.

We remained in silence. Then, Frank spoke. "I'm hungry. You guys want anything?"

We shook our heads.

"What about you, Mandy?"

"No, thanks."

"Oh, c'mon. it's the least we can do for ruining your ball."

She laughed.

"You didn't ruin anything. I chose to be here."

"What about Leo?" Frank asked.

She shrugged.

"I didn't want to come with him, anyway."

Frank then called the waitress and asked for a burger.

"You guys sure you don't want anything?"

The four of us denied with our heads.

"My dad's coming soon." Amanda said.

Frank nodded and the waitress left.

While waiting for the food, none of us said much. I didn't know what I was feeling. I was lost in my thoughts and didn't feel like talking.

After a few minutes, Amanda's dad called.

"My dad's here." She said. "Bye, guys. Bye, Frankie."

"Bye, Mandy." He said. The three of us also said goodbye. She got up and left the snack bar.

"She totally has a crush on you." Mikey said, smiling.

Frank frowned while the waitress served him the burger.

"What do you mean?" he asked and bit the burger.

Ray laughed.

"Isn't it obvious? She has a major crush on you."

"I thought you knew." Mikey complemented.

While chewing, Frank laughed, still frowning.

"Of course she doesn't. Why would she? She has a crush on that guy who didn't invite her to the ball."

"Did you invite her?" Asked Ray. He and Mikey smiled and raised their eyebrows.

"No, but..." Frank got mad when Ray's and Mikey's smiles got bigger. "Oh, c'mon! you're crazy if you really think that. Right, Gerard?"

I grinned.

"Are you blind or pretending to be?"

Ray and Mikey laughed, while Frank rolled his eyes and kept eating. What a weirdly funny way to finish the night. 


	21. You Only Hear The Music When Your Heart Begins To Break

**Gerard's POV:**

After leaving the snack bar, Mikey and I walked home, in silence and in the dark.

When we got there, I went immediately to my room and locked myself there. Only when I was under the covers, I allowed myself to cry.

Dawned. I was lying on my bed. Couldn't sleep. I felt empty; like something had been taken away from me.

The memories from the night before passed through my head. Singing in public. People enjoying. The Jocks. Taking everything from us. The fight.

It looked so surreal. Like a dream that, suddenly, became a nightmare.

I covered my eyes with my hands. One night in peace. It was all I wanted. If they had let us play and then hit the shit out of us, I wouldn't mind. I just wanted to finish the show.

For a moment, I actually had hope. I had hope that things could change, could be different. But in the end, everything was the same.

I heard someone knock on the door.

"Gee?" it was Mikey. I didn't answer.

He stayed there for a few seconds, then sighed and continued. "I told mom and dad about the fight. I wanted to do it with you, but they asked about the bruises and... I couldn't avoid the question." I felt my stomach turn. "They want to talk to you. They're worried."

I felt so guilty. I wanted us to talk to them together. I can't imagine how must have been for Mikey to tell them all on his own.

But, again, I didn't answer.

I heard Mikey sigh again.

"If you want to be alone right now, okay, fine. But, please, talk to us at some point. We just wanna help."

I heard footsteps, meaning he left the door. I sighed. I wanted to go out and talk to them. But I couldn't face them.

What was my problem? Do I really deserve to be treated like this? Should I just accept it?

No. No, I shouldn't. My friends shouldn't. No one should. This wasn't right. I wanted to scream. Scream how wrong and unfair everything was. I wanted to sing as loud as I could.

I got my notebook and went to the garage, hoping no one would see me. There, I got the guitar and started writing and playing some notes.

I knew how to play the guitar, I just didn't like it that much. I wasn't that good anyway, but it was enough.

Suddenly, I was playing a new song.

_Sing it for the boys  
Sing it for the girls  
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world_

_Sing it from the heart  
Sing it 'til you're nuts  
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts_

_Sing it for the deaf  
Sing it for the blind  
Sing about everyone that you left behind_

_Sing it for the world  
Sing it for the world_

When I finished singing, I heard someone clapping. I turned around to see my mom, walking towards me.

"That was beautiful." She sat next to me, on the floor.

"I just made it."

We remained in silence, until she sighed.

"You could have told me, you know. About everything."

I sighed, too.

"I didn't know how." My voice broke as the tears wanted to come out. But I didn't let them. "And I didn't want you to worry."

She held my hand.

"Gerard, I'm your mother. It's my duty to worry about you." I could see she also wanted to cry. "So, please, don't hide anything ever again, okay? I'm here to help you."

I gave her a sad smile.

"Thanks, mom." She pulled me in a hug. My head was under her chin, she was holding me like she wanted to protect me.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you, too." 


	22. Keep Your Apology

**Gerard's POV:**

I spent the weekend with my family. We didn't talk about shows or Jocks or fights. It was just us and movies and jokes and fun. I didn't know how much I was needing that until I got it.

Mom drove Mikey and I to school on Monday, even though we told her it wasn't necessary. Once there, I took a deep breath, said goodbye and left the car.

Mikey and I walked through the corridors. We noticed some people staring at us as we walked. We couldn't cover most of our bruises, specially the ones on our faces, and the news of the fight had already been spread.

Suddenly, two girls that looked like freshmens stopped to talk to us.

"Hi!" they said, a bit shy. One of them continued. "We just wanted to say that your music is awesome!" The other one nodded. "And we're sorry for what happened. Whenever you make another show, let us know!"

They laughed and left running.

Mikey and I exchanged a look and smiled. What an unexpected thing to happen.

And it happened all day. People coming to me to say that the music was great, we were very relented, wanted another show and the school sucked for letting that happen.

"That's just because they're the school's sweethearts. The principal protects them. But, honestly, who cares about hockey, anyway?" said a junior to me during second period. I was so happy about that. Realizing there were people on our side made me feel better.

"You won't believe what's been happening." Frank exclaimed while coming to our table during lunch.

"Let me guess." Ray said. "People have been complementing you all day?"

"Yes!" Frank sat down. "People are actually on our side! Can you believe that?"

"It happened to us, too." Mikey continued. "It's making my day, honestly."

"Amanda told me the gossips." Frank commented. "Apparently, the school is very divided. Half is on our side – mostly the unpopular and outcasts – and half is with the Jocks – mostly other athletes and cheerleaders.

"Yeah, makes sense." I said.

"She also told me that the Jocks and cheerleaders are a bit broken because of the cheating thing. Everything is a mess."

"And I couldn't be happier." I smiled, and so did them.

For a whole day, the Jocks didn't talk to us. It felt like heaven. Guess they were too busy dealing with their own problems to bully us, at least for a day.

After rehearsal during the afternoon, I was alone in my room, sat on my bed. I opened my notebook to read some of the stuff I had written before and maybe get some inspiration, and the page that I opened had only a few lines right in the middle filled.

_I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means_ _  
To be a joke and look  
Another line without a hook  
I held you close as we both shook for the last time  
Take a good hard look_

Oh, yeah. I had started this song. So much had happened lately, I didn't even remembered that. But once I read, all the moments where I had thought about this lyrics came back to my mind.

Suddenly, I was inspired, and started writing everything that passed through my head. Good, bad, random.

I started remembering the show again, and how I felt. How I screamed. The fight. Everything. Thoughts going through my mind as the song played in the back.

_Well if you wanted honesty_ _  
That's all you had to say_ _  
_ _I never want to let you down or have you go_ _  
_ _It's better off this way_

_  
_ _For all the dirty looks_ _  
_ _For photographs your boyfriend took_ _  
_ _Remember when you broke your foot_ _  
_ _from jumping out the second floor?_ _  
  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _You wear me out_ _  
  
_ _What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?_ _  
_ _I told you time and time again you sing the words_ _  
_ _but don't know what they mean_ _  
_ _To be a joke and look_ _  
_ _Another line without a hook_ _  
_ _I held you close as we both shook for the last time_ _  
_ _Take a good hard look_ _  
  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _You wear me out_ _  
  
_ _Forget about the dirty looks_ _  
_ _The photographs your boyfriend took_ _  
_ _You said you read me like a book_ _  
_ _But the pages are all torn and frayed_ _  
  
_ _I'm okay_ _  
_ _I'm okay_ _  
_ _I'm okay, now_ _  
  
_ _But you really need to listen to me_ _  
_ _Because I'm telling you the truth_ _  
_ _I mean this I'm okay_ _  
_ _Trust me_

A knock on the door.

"Gee?" I heard Mikey's voice. He opened the door and sat at the end of my bed.

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking. Remember when you said you wanted to do something? Something big, like a _revolution_ or whatever?"

I grinned.

"Yeah?"

"So, I might have had an idea. It seems like our music made that part of the school, the ones that you wanted to do the 'revolution' for, very inspired. But they didn't even get to listen to us properly. So, I was thinking..."

"What were you thinking, finally?" I asked, losing my patience.

He smiled.

"We'll need a song. On a tape. Some distractions. And the speakers on the principal's office."

I raised my eyebrows. That was a bold idea. But also great. Then, it hit me. I smiled.

"What?" asked Mikey after my sudden change of expression.

I slapped my notebook.

"I think I have the perfect song."


	23. You're Never Gonna Fit In Much, Kid

**Gerard's POV:**

When I got to school, Mrs. Rivera came to me and gave me the most horrible news.

"You're gonna fail P.E. if you keep going like this." She said.

Fail P.E.? I couldn't fail P.E.! okay, I was failing most of my classes, but I refused to fail P.E.. Even though I missed all the classes.

"You better go to ALL the classes now, you hear me?"

I stared at her, deep in her eyes. All I had to do was a little threat. _I know your dirty little secret_. I shook my head. No, I wasn't going to threat a teacher.

I sighed.

"Fine."

I was actually kinda ready to run and do whatever you had to do on P.E. that day... Until Mrs. Rivera screamed "GET ON YOUR SWIMSUITES!". And I froze.

I hate swimming. I hate swimsuits. That wasn't worth it.

I started thinking and then I remembered something. And smiled.

So there I was, wearing the school uniform while everyone else was swimming. I was looking around and watching everybody jump and swim.

"Way!" Mrs. Rivera screamed. "Get in the pool right now! You really wanna fail this class?"

"You said I had to be here. You didn't say I had to swim." I smiled.

She narrowed her eyes.

"Don't be the funny one right now, Way. We're talking about your grades. C'mon, get in the pool."

"I can run, if you want. But I'm not entering the pool."

"Today's class is swimming. Thus, you are swimming."

I sighed. I really didn't want to do that.

"Okay. Maybe if I talk to Mr. Franklin... On the janitor's closet... He'll let me miss the class."

She widened her eyes. Then, looked around, as if making sure no one was listening. She thought for a while and, finally, sighed.

"Fine. Stay here. But you better at least attend the classes or I'll have no choice besides fail you."

I smiled.

"Fine by me."

She left, a bit nervous. I smiled, victorious.

I spent the rest of the class just sitting by the pool, watching everybody swim while I did nothing. People seemed to don't see me. But I couldn't care less.

When the class was ending, I decided to leave the pool. I was walking away when, suddenly, I felt someone pushing me. I lost my balance and fell, right into the pool.

I sank. I only felt the water all over my body. I didn't see or hear anything. When I felt my feet hit the pool's floor, I thrashed and swam up.

I took a deep breath when my head was finally out of the water. After opening my eyes, all I saw was Blake, laughing and leaving.

Obviously. It was too good to be true.

I left the pool, soaking wet, and walked to the changing room. All the boys from the swimming class were there, changing. Guess it was worst for me. At least their clothes were dry.

I got a towel and started trying to dry myself. It was kinda useless to try to dry my clothes, but I did it anyway. My long black hair dripped, stuck to my face.

I spent a while there, just drying myself and looking around, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time.

Suddenly, right in front of me, I saw two Jocks. One was Jason. The other one was a guy I didn't know much, Oliver, I guess. They both were wearing towels, talking, laughing, and about to change.

Oliver turned around, took off the towel and started getting dressed. I thought Jason would do the same, but... He just stood there. Staring. At Oliver's butt.

He stared for a while, and finally turned around to get dressed, too.

I frowned.

When they were both dressed, they said goodbye and Oliver left. Jason stood there, watching him leave. He looked so... In love.

Finally, Jason left the trance and realized I was staring at him. He immediately changed his expression. Looked shock. He blushed and walked towards me.

I stood up.

"Jason..." I tried to say, but he grabbed me by the collar and pushed me against the lockers. He was trying so hard to look scary, threatening. But I could see in his eyes how nervous and scared he was.

"Way" his voice was trembling a bit. "I don't know what you think you saw, but I swear, if you start spreading lies about me, I swear, I'll..."

"Jason." I interrupted. My voice was calm and low. "Honestly, I don't care if you're gay. There's nothing wrong with that."

For a moment, he lost all his tough composure and looked scared. Vulnerable. But then, he got back and pushed me even harder against the lockers.

"I swear, if you tell anyone..." he was threatening me, but in his eyes, I could see him begging.

He let me go and left the changing room.

Discovering a Jock's secret was one of the best things to happen. I could have my revenge and use that against him. But... In that case, I didn't want to.

It's not like it was a dirty secret, like being addicted to drugs or having an affair. It's just part of who he is, but didn't want to admit.

And honestly, I felt bad for him. Probably he was afraid of telling his friends and not being accepted. Considering how the other Jocks are, I don't know if they would. I decided to leave that problem up to Jason and only Jason. 


	24. Do It Now And Do It Loud

**Gerard's POV:**

Finally, the week was over. The Jocks kept bullying us, but every time I exchanged a look with Jason, he looked scared, like I was just going to burst out his secret at any moment. His anxiety was a better revenger then just telling everyone his secret.

Friday afternoon, the four of us were at my garage. We had finally rehearsed enough and felt ready to record our tape.

"Ready?" asked Mikey. We all nodded. He took a deep breath and put the tape to record.

And the music started.

_Well if you wanted honesty_ _  
That's all you had to say  
I never want to let you down or have you go  
It's better off this way_

_  
For all the dirty looks  
For photographs your boyfriend took  
Remember when you broke your foot   
from jumping out the second floor?  
  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out_

I was so pumped, singing with all of my soul. Walking and jumping around, the garage was my own stage.

_What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?  
I told you time and time again you sing the words   
But don't know what they means_

_  
To be a joke and look  
Another line without a hook  
I held you close as we both shook for the last time  
Take a good hard look  
  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out_

Guitar solo. Ray kneed and started shaking his head – and his fro – back and forth. It was amazing seeing how excited all of us were.

_  
Forget about the dirty looks  
For photographs your boyfriend took  
You said you read me like a book  
But the pages are all torn and frayed_

The slow part. It was cool to sing like I was whispering and then just scream.

_I'm okay_

_I'm okay_

_I'm okay, now_

"But you really need to listen to me!" I said, or screamed, whatever. "Because I'm telling you the truth! I mean this! I'm okay!"

"Trust me" Frank said, and gave me a kiss on the cheek before going back to detonating on the guitar.

_I'm not okay_ _  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _Well, I'm not okay_ _  
_ _I'm not o-fucking-kay_ _  
_ _I'm not okay_ _  
_ _I'm not okay_

And we were done. We looked at each other, smiling. That was the best rehearsal we had made yet.

"Ok." Mikey got the tape. "It's done."

We all got closer to take a look.

"Look's like we just birth it. Our child." Frank said. Ray nudged him, laughing.

"When are we going to do it?" he asked.

"On Friday. It's the day where the principal goes around the school to check if everything's fine. We'll have more time to do it. Not that much, though. That's why we'll need distractions."

We nodded.

"And we need a name." I said. I got the tape and a sharpie I found on the table and wrote _I'm Not Okay_ on it.

The three of them smiled.

"Three cheers for sweet revenge!" Frank screamed.

"Yeah!" we screamed back and cheered for us and our plan. 


	25. Look Alive, Sunshine

**Gerard's POV:**

When Friday came, we were anxious and pumped to put our plan into action.

The four of us manage to leave the class right before lunch. According to Mikey's calculations, we had about 30 minutes to make it work.

"Right" my brother said when we met in front of the stairs. "Everybody knows your part of the plan?" we nod. "Great. It's time, now. We all meet here in 30 minutes. Good luck."

And then we all ran in different directions.

My job was to follow the principal, to make sure he wouldn't come back to his office. He had the custom to walk around the school every Friday, a bit close to lunch time, to check how everything was going.

He was already out when we started our plan. Now, I had to find him and follow him. He could be anywhere in the school.

"Think, Gerard, think" I started talking to myself. "Where can he be?"

He had probably left his room about an hour ago. Must have walked through the entire east area and be headed to west. That's where I went.

It took me about 10 minutes to finally find him. As thought, he was heading to the west area. After that, he would probably return to his office.

I had to avoid that.

For 10 more minutes, I followed him, hiding behind lockers and watching from far away. Sometimes, he would look back, like he had the feeling he was being followed. But I think he didn't see me.

Suddenly, we were at the corridor where his office was located. He was almost there... I couldn't let him in.

I took a deep breath and ran towards him.

"Principal Edwards! May I speak to you?" I said. He stopped walking and turned around to face me.

"Yes, Mr. Way?"

It was only then that I realized I had no idea of what to say.

Uh oh.

I swallowed hard.

"Hmm... I..."

"Mr. Way, if you have nothing to say, I must return to my office."

He started walking again. I looked through the window of the secretary and saw that Ray was still there, holding a guitar. We exchanged a frightened look. I had to do something.

"Wait!" I screamed. He turned back to face me again. He seemed... Impatient. "I... I'm not... Feeling well..."

"What do you mean?"

"I... I don't know..." I glanced at the window. Ray gave me a look that meant he needed more time. "I'm feeling... Dizzy..."

"You could have just went to the nursery already."

"Yeah, I know..." I was being caught on my own lies. "But I was walking and then I saw you... I thought I could... I don't know..."

"Go to the nursery, Mr. Way."

He was about to leave on more time. I realized that I needed to take a drastic measure.

"Principal Edwards, I..." and then I fell.

"Mr. Way!" he screamed. I pretended I couldn't hear him.

I was literally lying on the school floor, pretending that I had passed out. This plan better work out.

"Mr. Way, please, get up. Come, I'll take you to the nursery." He said.

I couldn't believe it had worked.

I acted as best as I could to pretend I was just waking up from a faint. I leaned on him and we started to walk to the nursery.

When we got there, the principal told me to sit in one of the beds and wait. He was going to talk to a nurse and ask her for some medicine for me.

I looked at my watch. I had three minutes to go back to the stairs and meet with the guys. I had to leave immediately.

Once the principal left me alone, I got up and sneaked out of the nursery. I glanced at the other room, just to make sure. He was there, talking to the nurse.

I walked away, slowly and silently. But, once I was far enough, I started running like crazy.

The bell rang. People were coming out of their classrooms.

I counted to 10. Silence... Silence... And then...

The music started.

 _I'm Not Okay_ was playing on the speakers.

The plan worked.

People on the corridor were looking up, trying to understand what was that song and why it was playing.

But, honestly, I was so happy that all I could do was sing the song while running towards the stairway.


	26. Shut Up And Sing It With Me

**Ray's POV:**

The moment we left the stairway, Mikey and I went directly to the principal's office.

There was the secretary, with three secretaries. Inside the secretary, was the principal's office. I had to find a way to distract the three of them so Mikey could enter the office.

"Stay here" I said. "When the time is right, I'll make the sign and you come in."

"Okay." He said.

I had no idea of what I was about to do or how I would do it, but I would. I entered the secretary and the three ladies looked at me.

"Hello, Mr. Toro. The principal is not here right now. May I help you?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "I... Would like to know if... Any of you are... Interested..." I started looking around, desperately looking for something to talk about. Suddenly, I saw a guitar leaning against a corner of the room. "In music?"

The three of them frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"Shouldn't you be in class right now, young man?" said the second one.

"No, I have a free period, actually." That was a lie. I hoped that none of them would look at my schedule. "So I thought, maybe you wanted to hear some music?"

The three ladies exchanged a look, and then looked at me again.

"I mean, I suppose you just spend the entire day here, don't you? And don't get to see people or whatever. Must be a bit boring."

Silence.

"It is a bit boring sometimes, indeed." Giggled one of them.

I smiled.

"So, what do you say? Wanna hear a song?"

They exchanged another look, probably wondering if it was a good idea.

"I mean, we're not busy right now, are we?" asked the third one.

"Okay, Mr. Toro, you win. One song." They smiled and so did I.

I couldn't believe it had worked.

I walked towards the guitar and grabbed it. Then, I started playing the first song that came to my mind.

"Oh! I love Beatles!" said one of the ladies.

"Sing along!" I said.

As I had drawn their attention, I turned to one side, making them look at this side and stand with their backs to the door. I looked out the window and my gaze crossed Mikey's. I nodded discreetly, indicating he could enter.

He entered discreetly, walking slowly and tiptoeing. Passed behind the counter and began to search for the key of the principal's office in the middle of the various keys hanging on the wall.

He couldn't find the right one.

Suddenly, the song was over. I exchanged a quick look with Mikey and immediately he hid under the table.

"That was nice, Mr. Toro. Thank you very much. But we must return to work now."

One of the ladies was about to turn around when I screamed.

"No! Wait!" They looked at me, frowning and also a little scared. It was a loud scream. "One more song?"

"Mr. Toro, it's very kind of you, but we really need..."

"C'mon, Doris, you said you liked Beatles." She looked surprised when I called her by her first name. "Besides, principal Edwards is not even here. C'mon, one more song. I swear."

Doris smiled.

"Fine, Mr. Toro, you got us." The two other ladies looked very happy, too.

I smiled and started playing another song. When Mikey was sure they wouldn't turn around, he got up and started looking for the key.

As I was close to the window, I heard footsteps. I glanced and saw principal Edwards coming.

I froze. Suddenly, Gerard showed up and started talking to him. But a few seconds later, the principal turned his back and continued walking. Gerard looked at me through the window. I tried to tell him with my eyes that we still needed more time.

Gerard called the principal and started talking again. One more time he looked at me. I told him by my expression to keep talking.

I looked to the ladies again and they were singing the song, happily. Suddenly, Mikey turned around holding a key and smiling. Apparently, he had found the right one.

He then mimic to me, telling me to make more noise so he could open the door.

I nodded discreetly and started playing and singing louder. So did the ladies. Mikey turned around, opened the door, enter the office and closed the door, just in time to finish the song.

I laughed, nervous.

"Okay, ladies, I'll let you get to work, now."

"Thanks for the show, Mr. Toro! We appreciated it!"

I smiled and blinked, before leaving. It was all on Mikey's hands now.

When I got to the corridor, neither Gerard or the principal were there.

I looked at the clock on the wall. I was running out of time. Headed back to the stairs, I could only hope everything else had worked out. 


	27. Kiss Me, You Animal

**Frank's POV:**

Once everybody went their ways, I went to the gymnasium. Since the hockey and football games were close, the principal was allowing the Jocks and cheerleaders to miss class and practice. Of course he was. His favorite students. They could do whatever they wanted.

My part of the plan was to keep an eye out on the Jocks. They were supposed to be there until lunchtime. If only one of them discovered the plan, we were doomed. They would ruin everything. My job was to make sure that didn't happen.

In the gymnasium, they were all there, training. And so the cheerleaders, on the side. Mandy was there. I remembered what the guys had said on the Winter Ball night. I had thought about that. No, no possibility that she could ever have a crush on me.

I watched everything from the side of the bleachers. It was very boring. Sports suck and they weren't doing anything interesting. When it was about 10 minutes before the scheduled time, however, the Jocks began to leave the court.

"C'mon, let's get going." I heard Blake's voice. "We need to talk to the principal, he needs to get those papers of the hall passes on his office. Better if we get before lunch."

The other Jocks agreed.

I smiled. Finally something to do.

"Yo!" I said, finally showing up to them.

"What do you want, Iero?"

"I could ask you the same thing." I smiled.

They frowned.

"Iero, get the fuck out of the way before we end you. We're busy." Carter said and tried to leave.

"Whoa, friend!" I blocked his way. There was fire in his eyes. But I also had in mine. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Have you lost your mind, freak show?" Sam screamed.

"Get him already." Blake said. I ran.

And suddenly, there was a bunch of 15 Jocks chasing me.

Awesome.

I ran and laughed, trying to avoid them. For only more 5 minutes.

Suddenly, I was at the changing rooms. There was nowhere to run. I was trapped.

"Oh shit..." I whispered.

The Jocks were about to enter and find me, when all of the sudden, a hand grabbed my shirt behind me and pulled me.

When I realized it, I had passed through a door and fallen on the floor of the changing room... Of the girls?

I looked behind me and saw Amanda. She was wearing her blue cheerleader uniform and her short hair was trapped in a ponytail above her head with a bow of the same color. She beckoned to me, putting her index finger in front of her mouth and doing "shh," so that I would be silent. I didn't say a thing.

We could hear the voice of the Jocks going around the other changing room, searching for me. After a few seconds, they left.

I sighed, relieved.

"Thanks, Mandy. You are always saving my life."

"You should consider not getting into so much trouble."

I shrugged.

"Why all of that, anyway?"

"It's a secret, for now. You'll find out..." I looked at my watch. "Five minutes."

She frowned.

"Okay, then."

"By the way, can I stay here for these five minutes? They're probably still looking for me and I don't think they can ruin the plan anymore."

Amanda looked around, then looked at me and sighed.

"Fine. But if the other cheerleaders see you, you're dead."

"It's okay. I'll be anyway."

I smiled and the two of us sat on a bench of the changing room.

"So... How are things going?"

She shrugged.

"Same, I guess. Big game coming soon."

I nodded.

"I really don't get what's fun about sports. I don't know, I just..." I shrugged and laughed.

"Oh, some people find it cool, I guess." She also laughed. Then we were silent. "C'mon, tell me what this plan of yours is about."

"You'll find out soon. I can't spoil it."

She snorted.

"Fine."

And then we were silent again. But this time, we were facing each other, looking at each other's eyes.

"You know... You've got something in your eye." I said.

Amanda started getting closer to me and so did I. Suddenly, we were right in front each other, very close. She closed her eyes and, when we were less then a foot apart, I poked her eye, to take away whatever was there.

"Ouch!" she said and put her hand to her eye. I wiped the dirt on the sleeve of her coat.

It hit me that my time had probably come, so I got up and left the changing room.

The gymnasium was now empty, so I supposed the bell had already rang. A few seconds later and... Our song was playing on the speakers!

"Is that... You?" I heard a voice say behind me. It was Amanda. "That was the plan? How did you do that? The principal is gonna kill you..."

"I swear I'll explain later" I said. "But I really gotta go right now. Bye, Mandy!"

I ran towards the exit before she could even answer. 


	28. Can You See? My Eyes Are Shining Bright

**Mikey's POV:**

"Great. It's time, now. We all meet here in 30 minutes. Good luck."

While Gerard and Frank went their ways, Ray and I ran together to the secretary.

"Stay here" he said once we got there. "When the time is right, I'll make the sign and you come in."

"Okay." I answered.

Ray entered the secretary and I stayed outside. The only thing I had in hands was the tape we recorded; with Gerard's handwrite _I'm Not Okay_. I was nervous, wondering if our plan would work at all.

After a few minutes, I started hearing music. I looked at the window and saw Ray with a guitar, playing to the secretaries. What was he doing?

But, actually, the distraction worked just fine. The secretaries were now facing Ray, and had their backs to the door.

My gaze crossed Ray's and he nodded discreetly. I understood that as the sign.

I walked in, tiptoeing slowly. The ladies were too distracted singing Beatles, so they didn't see me. I passed through behind the counter, hoping they wouldn't turn around... There were a panel with various keys of the whole school hanging on the wall. I started searching for the right one.

Bathroom's keys, classroom's keys, auditorium's keys, lab's keys... Literally keys from the entire school, but none of them from the principal's office. A thought came to me. What if the principal had taken the key with him? The whole plan would be ruined. No, maybe that wasn't the case. I had to keep looking.

Suddenly, the song came to an end. Ray looked at me, frightened. I had to do something. I looked around and the only thing I could do was hide under the table next to me. It was exactly what I did.

"That was nice, Mr. Toro. Thank you very much. But we must return to work now." Said one of the ladies. She got up from her chair and was about to turn around. I froze. That was it. The end.

"No! Wait!" Ray screamed, all of the sudden. The secretaries looked a little scared. "One more song?"

"Mr. Toro, it's very kind of you, but we really need..."

"C'mon, Doris, you said you liked Beatles." Ray smiled, trying to convince them. "Besides, principal Edwards is not even here. C'mon, one more song. I swear."

Doris smiled.

"Fine, Mr. Toro, you got us." She said and sat down again. I let out the air, relieved. Ray started playing another song. I waited a few seconds, to make sure they wouldn't turn around again. Then, I got up and continued looking for the key.

There was so many keys there, and so many labels. Which of them was the one I needed, damn?

It took me a while, but finally, FINALLY I found the right one. I turned around, smiling, and showed Ray the key. I mimic to him, indicating for him to sing louder so I could open the door without being noticed.

He nodded and started singing louder. So did the ladies. I turned around and put the key in the lock. As I turned it, the door opened. I walked in and closed the door behind me, just as the music ended.

There was I. On the principal's office.

I looked at the clock on the wall and realized I only had a few minutes left. But that was enough time.

I took the tape player and tape out of my pocket. I sat in the principal's chair and began arranging and connecting the wires from the tape player to the speaker on the principal's desk.

I waited a few minutes until the time was right. My stomach turned, afraid someone would open the door and everything would go wrong. Suddenly, the bell rang. It was lunchtime. The students were leaving the classrooms.

I counted the seconds. The time has come.

I hit play.

 _I'm Not Okay_ was playing on the speakers. The whole school could hear us.

I immediately jumped out of the chair and ran to the window. It was locked inside, so I opened it and jumped. Thanks God the principal's room was on the ground, or I could not get away.

Once I was on the court, I looked both ways to make sure no one was there. Then, I ran as fast as I could, coming back to where we left and where the boys should be: the stairway.


	29. Nothing You Could Say Can Stop Me Going Home

**Gerard's POV:**

Ray was already on the stairway when I got there. We greeted each other with a smile. Our song was playing on the speakers! Our plan worked!

Seconds later, Frank came, running and gasping. He could barely talk, but I understood that he was so happy he wanted to scream to every single person passing by.

When Mikey showed up, about a minute later, we finally got to talk.

"I can't believe it worked!" Frank screamed.

"You won't believe what I had to do to get the principal out of his office..." I said.

"We can talk about it later. Right now, let's just look around and appreciate our work." Mikey finished.

We were in the middle of the principal corridor, where most people were. During lunchtime, everybody was out of their classrooms, and since the song was being played in every speaker, literally everybody in school could hear us.

People's reactions were funny. Some seemed confused. Some couldn't care less. Some seemed angry, as if the song was a crime and had to be taken out immediately. Others... Seemed happy. Excited. They were enjoying the song, relating, and some even seemed to associate it with us. They gave us glances of pride.

These were the reactions I was looking for.

It didn't last long, though.

"You four!" screamed someone from behind me. I turned around. The principal was coming towards us. He seemed. So. Angry. "Mr. Way! Mr. Toro, Mr. Iero, Mr. Way! Come with me! Right now!"

He was screaming right in the middle of the corridor. Everybody else went silent. If some people didn't know that the song was our thing, now they knew. Well, thanks, principal Edwards. Free publicity.

The four of us exchanged a look and then followed him. With a smile. We all knew the consequences, yet we did it anyway. It was worth it.

"What were you thinking?" he said, sitting on his chair at his office. By the time we got there, the song was already over. Whatever happened to us later, was fine. Our plan had already succeeded.

"We wanted to show people our song." Frank said, frankly and calmly.

"And you really thought the best way to do it was by invading my office and putting the song on the speakers?"

"No, we thought the best way to do it was by playing at the Winter Ball. But the Jocks ruined it for us, and didn't even got punished." Mikey answered, even more calm. The principal seemed shocked, like he had no arguments left.

"Still" he continued, after a few seconds. "It's no way to do it. Invading a private office, pretending to faint, singing to the secretaries ... This is unacceptable! I demand respect from my students. There are rules in this school, rules that must be followed. And if one go against them, one must bear the consequences."

"Unless one's a Jock." Frank said, looking into the principal's eyes. "In that case, one can do whatever they please, bullying and ruining shows included, and there'll be no consequences..."

"ENOUGH!" the man screamed, hitting his fist on the table. "We're not here to talk about the athletes or the Ball, we're here to talk about your little prank."

"No, we're here exactly to talk about that. And how unfair it is." I said, firmly. "Have you seen the name of this tape?" the principal took the tape and looked at it. "Yeah, exactly. It's called _I'm Not Okay_. You know why? Because this is how I feel. This is how they feel." I pointed to my friends sat next to me. "This is how so many other students feel, but they'll never tell you, because they know that they won't be heard. If you're not a Jock or a cheerleader, you won't be heard."

"Mr. Way..." he tried to say, but I kept going.

"The thing we did today? An innocent prank. We wanted to show people that they are not alone, even if this fucking school doesn't listen to them."

"Language, Mr. Way..."

"And still, we're here. About to be punished for trying to give people voice and hope. While those Jocks who beat students up every fucking day just for the sake of it get away with that. Just because they know how to use a hockey stick, does that makes them better than us?"

"Mr. Way, you know very well that..."

"No, you know very well that this is all true. And yet, you decide to do nothing about it. If only you knew how it feels... If only you could be one of us for at least one single day. We're people, you know? We can do stuff, we have feelings, we have talents, we talk, we see, we hear, we feel. But does it matter? Because at the end of the day, we're still the weirdos and outcasts."

"I SAID IT'S ENOUGH!" he stood up. "I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TELL ME RIGHT IN MY FACE THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXERCISE MY JOB." He took a deep breath, sat down and continued. "We're not here to talk about the athletes. We're here to talk about you. You are all suspended. For three days. Don't show up until Thursday."

I sighed and got up, leaving the office. I didn't want to hear his bullshit anymore. He had already punished us. I had nothing more to do there.

About a minute later, my friends caught me up.

"So... Three days with no class? That's gonna be a long weekend." Ray said, laughing.

"I honestly thought it would be a much worse punishment. I'm okay with that." Mikey smiled.

"I think speech man over here managed to cause a bit of empathy in Edwards' black heart." Frank said, pointing to me. "But whatever, fuck this guy. What did he say, anyway? Pretending to faint? Singing to the secretaries? Oh man, you got to do the coolest parts!" we all laughed. Frank put his arms around Ray's shoulders and mines. "C'mon, tell me everything."

And just like that, the four of us left the school after receiving a suspension, laughing so hard that our bellies hurt. 


	30. We Stole The Fire And It's Burning Bright

**Gerard's POV:**

Our parents weren't exactly happy when Mikey and I told them we were suspend for three days. But I guess, after everything we went through, they understood.

Saturday afternoon, the four of us were in our garage, playing some songs just for fun. Feeling a bit bored.

"Can't believe we have four more days of pure nothing." Frank laid down on the sofa, holding his guitar. "This is more like prize instead of punishment."

"Honestly, Edwards is a jerk. He had the guts to punish us knowing he had done nothing to the Jocks." Ray commented.

"Who knows what the Jocks would have done to him if he had." Mikey laughed.

"Guess he's scared of teenagers." Frank said, and we all laughed.

"Yeah, but honestly, still unfair." continued Ray.

"Nothing about this thing is fair. But I think we did everything we could do." Finished Mikey.

"I don't." I said, suddenly. The three of them turned their heads to me. "I think we can do more."

"What do you have in mind?" my brother asked.

"Nothing right now. But we have four days to think of something. Give me some ideas."

We stayed in silence for a while, until Ray spoke.

"What went wrong with the tape thing?"

"We got caught?" Frank said.

"No. We didn't spread our idea that much. Not everybody knew that was us, and some of them might think it was just a prank. We need to make clear to the people what message we are trying to spread."

"Good. How do we do that?" Mikey asked.

"We do what we know. We play." Frank smiled. "And it has to be done quick, while the tape thing is still fresh news."

"But we can't enter the school until Thursday." Ray spoke.

I smiled.

"We don't need to enter the school."

They looked at me and frowned. But once I explained what I had in mind, they all agreed and we started working on our plan.

First of all, we needed a new song, a fresh new one. It took us all night, we only left the garage when the sun was rising. But it was worth it. We had our song.

 _Teenagers_ was a song of riot. Exactly what we needed. Summarized everything we wanted to say. We spent Sunday afternoon rehearsing, so everything on Monday would go perfectly as we planned.

Frank also gave the idea to call Amanda. A little help from the inside would be good. At first, she was hesitant. We had just been suspended and were about to put another plan into action. Edwards would probably kill us. But in the end, she agreed.

So, on Monday, we were ready.

Mikey and I planned to leave our house one hour before lunchtime. We would have enough time to meet with Frank and Ray and prepare everything.

When we were about to leave, literally opening the front door, we heard a voice behind us.

"Where are you going?"

We turned around. It was mom.

We froze.

"We are... Going to Frank's house." I invented, out of the blue.

"Why?"

"Rehearsal." Mikey said, immediately.

"I thought all rehearsals were here."

"We spent the entire weekend here. We thought it would be better to go somewhere else."

"You know I don't mind you rehearsing here."

"Yeah, but still... It's good to change places once in a while. And we're already late, bye, mom!" I said, very quickly. She didn't seemed convinced, but let us go. We ran and closed the door behind us.

"Fast, let's not waste anymore time." Mikey finished, and holding the stripes of his bass case firmly, we ran. 


	31. Maybe They'll Leave You Alone, But Not Me

**Gerard's POV:**

"You're late." Frank said when we got there.

"Sorry. Let's get started."

Took us about twenty minutes to get everything ready. It was almost lunchtime. Frank texted Amanda. I had no idea of what she would do.

In front of the school, out of the gates, there were us, our instruments and an amplifier Ray had at home. We were about to perform _Teenagers_.

Sure, the principal said we couldn't go to school until Thursday. But there was the best part: we weren't at school. We were outside the gates. Edwards couldn't do anything about it.

How Amanda manage to make everybody go to the front court of the school instead of the cafeteria, I had no idea. But the thing is, a couple of minutes after the bell rang, we had our audience. They were not exactly looking at us, and they'd probably leave if didn't do anything quick.

"Should we just start playing?" Mikey asked.

"I think someone should say something, first." Ray finished.

I took a deep breath and held the microphone. What should I say? Just present us? Make a speech? In the end, I decided to just go with whatever was in my mind.

"If you ever felt rejected. If you ever felt confused. If you ever felt lost." I started. People started looking at us. I saw all types of people. People frowning. Jocks and cheerleaders, pissed off as hell. Outcasts looking curious. "If you ever felt anxious. If you ever felt wrong. If you ever felt wronged. If you ever felt unclean. If you ever felt angry. If you ever felt ashamed." I looked at Jason, in the middle of the crowd of Jocks. "If you ever felt curious." I looked at Mr. Franklin, a bit far away, close to the front door. "If you ever felt used."

I stopped talking. Everybody was looking at us now.   
  
"Be prepared to feel revenge."

The boys took that as a sign to begin and the music started playing.

_They're gonna clean up your looks_

_With all the lies in the books_

_To make a citizen out of you_

_Because they sleep with a gun_

_And keep an eye on you, son_

_So they can watch all the things you do_

_Because the drugs never work_

_They're gonna give you a smirk_

_Cause they've got methods of keeping you clean_

_They're gonna rip off you head_

_Your aspirations to shreds_

_Another cog on the murder machine_

When the chorus started, people seemed to enjoy the music even more. Not only enjoy. _Feel._ They were dancing in the court, having fun. The Jocks and cheerleaders were the only ones in the corner with grumpy faces. Teachers seemed desperate. I bet the principal had already been warned of the situation.

  
_They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me_ _  
_ _They could care less as long as someone'll bleed_ _  
_ _So darken your clothes_ _  
_ _Or strike a violent pose_ _  
_ _Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_

We didn't care. We kept playing.

_The boys and girls in the clique_ _  
_ _The awful names that they stick_ _  
_ _You're never gonna fit in much, kid_ _  
  
_ _But if you're troubled and hurt_ _  
_ _What you got under your shirt_ _  
_ _Will make them pay for the things that they did_ _  
  
_ _They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me_ _  
_ _They could care less as long as someone will bleed_ _  
_ _So darken your clothes_ _  
_ _Or strike a violent pose_ _  
_ _Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_

"Whoooa yeaah!" I screamed and the guitar solo began. People on the court screamed. I smiled as our plan was really working out.

_They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me_ _  
_ _They could care less as long as someone will bleed_ _  
_ _So darken your clothes_ _  
_ _Or strike a violent pose_ _  
_ _Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_

_  
_"All together now!" I screamed, and people actually started singing with us. I think by that time, they had already learned the chorus.

_  
_ _Teenagers scare the living shit out of me_ _  
_ _They could care less as long as someone will bleed_ _  
_ _So darken your clothes_ _  
_ _And strike a violent pose_ _  
_ _Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_

_Teenagers scare the living shit out of me_ _  
_ _They could care less as long as someone will bleed_ _  
_ _So darken your clothes_ _  
_ _And strike a violent pose_ _  
_ _Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me_

And we were done. People applauded and screamed for more. We really wish we could play more... But we had to leave. Immediately.

We started packing our stuff, when Mr. Franklin showed up.

"Boys... That was quite a thing." He said. I was expecting him to give us a lecture and send us to the principal's office, but instead, he just sighed and continued. "But don't ever do it again, ok? You're already in big trouble. Go, leave before the principal comes." And then he left.

We exchanged a look. Apparently more than some of the students were in our side? Well, I'm not complaining.

About five minutes later, we had already packed our stuff and were leaving the school, as lots of students in the court sang our song and screamed the name of our band.


	32. Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me

**Gerard's POV:**

It was weird to go back to school on Thursday. I was so used to staying at home all day that actually having to use those stupid uniforms and going to that hell of a place killed me a little.

But getting there was the biggest surprise of my life.

School was chaos.

Me, Mikey, Frank and Ray all walked together that day. And when we finally walked through the school's gates, what we saw was... Frighteningly pleasing.

Some people on the court saw us entering school and started clapping. People that normally walked through the shadows. There were no sign of Jocks or cheerleaders.

Through the corridors, people walked, ran, screamed, like they weren't at school. No rules. Could do what they wanted to do. I decided to take a better look at some of the outcasts that now looked like they ruled the school. Some had bruises, purple eyes, scratches, contusions. But they looked happy.

Some talked to us. Most didn't see us – too busy being loud – but the ones who did, slapped us in the back, congratulated us, thanked us. And none of us had no idea why.

When the four of us got to Frank's locker, someone immediately came running towards us.

"You're back!" she screamed, serious.

"Hey, Mandy!" said Frank.

"Come with me." She turned around and started walking away.

"Wait, why? Where?" I asked.

"Just come!" the girl screamed back, without turning around to face me. I exchanged a look with the boys, but they just shrugged and we followed Amanda.

She led us through the corridors. Seemed like the world was ending. Where were the teachers? We walked past the stairway. There was something that made us stop.

Hanging on the stairway, had a gigantic band written _My Chemical Romance_.

"Who... Who did... This..." Mikey asked Amanda.

"The people here were very inspired by you. Like, all the people the school never gave attention. They are very thankful to you."

"Wait. All this mess going on is because of _us_?" Ray asked.

Amanda hesitated.

"Come with me so I can tell you everything."

We started walking away. I just couldn't believe there was a literal band on the stairway with the name of our band. I never thought things would get this far.

Finally, we reached the math classroom.

"They're here." Amanda said as she opened the door. Mr. Franklin was set there, staring at us.

"Good. Come on, sit down. We need to talk."

We all grabbed a chair each and sat down.

"Can you finally tell us what the fuck is going on? Why is the school looking like a fucking battlefield?" Frank said.

"It's your fault." Mr. Franklin said.

"How?" asked Mikey.

"It started on Monday. Right after you left, after the song." Amanda started. "Seemed like the outcasts were inspired by your song. They wanted a change. And they did."

"But not in the way we thought." Mr. Franklin said. "They are acting like animals! They started fighting the athletes..."

"Which are now hiding in the gym." Amanda interrupted, kinda laughing.

"And are now acting as if they own the school! They go where they want, do what they want, and it seems like nobody can control them. The rest of the teachers gave up by yesterday. Principal Edwards is furious."

They only thing the four of us could do was smile.

We did it. We started a revolution.

"And now that you're back" the teacher continued. "We thought you were the only ones that could stop this."

"Wait, stop?" Mikey said, a bit mad.

"We won't stop it." Ray agreed, firmly.

"Guys, you wanted a revolution. You wanted the bullied to be noticed. You did it. But this is no revolution. This is chaos." Amanda augmented, worried.

"Mandy, I thought you were on our side." Frank said, sad.

"I am! But, Frank, this is out of control!"

Frank got up.

"If control means the Jocks and other can step on us and nobody do anything about it, then we don't want no control." And left the classroom.

I got up and followed him. So did Ray and Mikey.

The four of us met outside.

"C'mon" I said, to a mad Frank and confused Mikey and Ray. "Let's enjoy our revolution."


	33. Everybody Wants To Change The World, But No One Wants To Die

**Gerard's POV.:**

The rest of the day was a mess. During class, teachers tried to teach, but were constantly interrupted. On the corridors, Jocks and outcasts were constantly fighting. Posters were placed and torn from the walls. People screamed. People laughed. People looked for revenge. Didn't even seemed like a school. I swear I actually saw someone peeing in the helmet of one of the jocks in the locker room.

Frank wanted to get in a fight; we thought it was better to stay in the shadows. We had done our fighting. We'd just watch now.

But apparently, us just watching wasn't enough for the rest of them. All the popular kids that were now suffering blamed us for not being in power anymore.

And, like everybody else, they wanted revenge.

We were attacked all day. We did our best to avoid fights, but it was useless. By the end of the day, we were used to the savagery that place had turned into.

Still, the four of us were very relaxed all day. Finally school was a fun place. Even if we weren't learning that much.

Later, we were playing croquet in the court. It was my turn to hit the ball. I did it and the ball rolled away.

"I'm the master of the wicket." I said, while following the ball with my sight.

Suddenly, someone came running through the court towards us and flew over me. We both fell to the ground, then he got up and ran away. I sat on the lawn and looked around, confused. The boys looked bored. They were already accustomed to such things all day. I shrugged, got up and continued the game.

"Who was that guy?" I asked.

Ray shrugged.

"A Jock, probably."

"I know him. He's the school mascot. He's name's John." Mikey responded.

"...How did you know that?" Frank asked what we were all thinking.

My brother shrugged.

"I just know."

Ray, Frank and I exchanged a look, then I asked.

"Why would he just burst out of nowhere and knock me down?"

Mikey sighed while hitting the ball with his wicket.

"People are crazy here, can't you see? They're just doing stuff because they can. It doesn't have to have a reason."

We kept playing in silence for a minute, and then Frank screamed.

"Why can't WE knock him down? Nothing here makes sense anymore. I've been dying to do some cool stuff today, yes, literally just because we CAN, yet we're here playing fucking croquet." He said and hit the ball, angrily.

"Let's do it, then!" Mikey said, excited.

"I'm in!" Ray agreed, the three of them smiled and looked at me.

I hesitated, then shrugged.

"Whatever." I laughed.

Later that day, the cheerleaders were rehearsing their moves in the court, close to the gymnasium. John, dressed as the school mascot, a weird looking dog dressed with the school shirt, was behind them, probably also training his moves as well.

"Well, now what?" I asked. We were looking at them from a bit far away.

"Leave it all to me." Frank said.

"Frank, we should do something more..." Mikey tried to say, but Frank was already running. "Organized." My brother sighed, giving up. Ray and I grinned.

Meanwhile, a crazy Frank Iero was already running through the courtyard towards a guy dressed in a fucking giant dog costume and jumping over him. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to knock him down.

While he was on the ground, me and Ray ran to help. I went left and Ray, right. We jumped at the same time and the costumed guy came crashing down. I could hear him scream before the fall. All of a sudden we were all on the floor, Frank, Ray and I laughing. We quickly got up and started knocking on the guy before he could get up.

The cheerleaders were right in front of us. And they didn't even realized what was happening. Or maybe they did, but were so used to seeing such things all over the week that decided to ignore.

Either way, we quickly left the court and the guy on the floor. But before we could leave, Mikey came walking calmly and kicked the dog right in the face. Then walked towards us, his expression neutral.

"Should we go home now?" he asked.

We all laughed and started walking away.

At the school gates, we were about to leave that perfect school day when we heard a voice calling us.

"YOU! WEIRDOS, COME BACK HERE!"

We turned around, even though we knew exactly who it was.

"What the fuck did you do to our school? You ruined! This can't even be called a school anymore! It's insane, and it's all your fault!" Blake screamed to us.

I realized two things when he spoke. First, he didn't slap our heads or punched our stomachs, didn't even grabbed us by the collar. Second, him and his "friends" had some bruises and scratches over their bodies.

Apparently, they weren't the ones in control anymore. They had been beaten. They had tasted what it feels like to be one of us. They didn't touch us because they were _scared_ of us. And realizing that made me feel so, so much happier.

"We didn't even were here when this started in the first place." I said. "We literally just got here."

"But you started all of this." He raised his finger upon my face. Raised, but didn't touch me. "You and your stupid songs. Those idiots are going insane."

"And I can see you lost your crown, huh?" I smiled. "So, tell me, how does it feel to be one of us now?"

"THAT'S IT!" Blake screamed. He was shaking with anger. "Tomorrow, stairway, the nine of us. The second the bell rings. Bring your weapons. We'll end this now."

I didn't even had to look at my friends to know their opinions.

"Deal." I said, with a smile. 


	34. Let This World Explode

**Gerard's POV:**

When Mikey and I got to school on the following day, Friday, I had no idea what to expect.

School was still weird; looking more like a jungle than anything else. We weren't exactly the center of attention anymore. It was more like a hierarchy. The strongest, the one that showed more control, was at the top, and the rest ended up subordinated or forgotten. This was for Jocks and outcasts.

I was happy being invisible. Well, at least until the end of the day, when we would have our last battle, as you can say.

Maybe not last. But I had a felling things would change and be marked forever after that day. And, so, my stomach turned. I could not pay attention to almost anything all day. Not classes neither my friends. Probably ignored Ray talking about how nervous and excited he was, Mikey saying that he wanted to get that over with and Frank grunting how Amanda was being childish for not talking to him anymore.

All I could thing about was the fight.

Another thing that made me concerned. We didn't see the Jocks all day.

Well, we saw Jocks, yeah, but not _the_ Jocks. The five ones we had more problems with. It was as if they had been hiding all day. Maybe they didn't even go to school. Maybe they had given up the fight, maybe they were scared.

Yeah. As if.

Anyway, the record just fell to me that that was really happening when I found a note on top of my desk.

_Stairway. After the bell. Bring your vampires. Hope you haven't forgotten._

No. No, I haven't.

The bell rang. It was finally time.

I sent a message to my friends and the four of us met at the courtyard. We talked for a few minutes about how we didn't bring any "weapons".

"We don't have to use conventional ones." Ray said, and this is how we left the court holding croquet wickets.

We went back to school and walked down the aisles. At that point, most of the students had left. We were practically alone.

We walked down the corridor on the right. Me in the middle, spinning my wicket as I walked. Ray, holding his wicket, and Frank with sunglasses and leaning his wicket on his shoulder on one side, and Mikey, swinging his wicket and throwing up an apple on the other.

Further ahead was the stairway, and, on the other side, in the corridor on the left, the Jocks were walking.

From left to right, there was Carter and Zach, both holding hockey sticks, Blake in the middle, with gloves and a hockey stick, Sam with another club, and Jason with a fucking hockey helmet. A random boy came down the hall and was pushed back against the wall by Sam.

How was I feeling? I don't know. I wasn't scared, that's for sure. My anxiety was gone. I was... Excited. Not that wanted to do that, but like I needed so things would be over.

No. I wanted that. I wanted to beat the shit out of them.

Finally, we found ourselves in front of the staircase. Jocks on one side, us on the other. Face to face. Ready for whatever came.

"So, the vampires left the coffins." Carter provoked.

"Wouldn't miss that for anything." Frank said. "So, Sam, how are things with Courtney? Or should I ask Carter that?" he smiled. I tried my best not to laugh.

"Shut up, Iero, this isn't about girls." Blake said, lauder. "This is about you. And us. And how it ends."

"I'm dying to know how it ends." I said.

The nine of us smiled. We all were.

"Let it begin, then. The beginning of the end."

And in the next second, we were jumping over each other.

Saturday was probably one of the worst days ever. Mikey, Frank, Ray and I spent the whole day on my living room, Full of pains, scratches, bruises, purples, everything you could imagine. Frank even got his arm broken.

I don't even know how we manage to get back home on Friday. Probably carrying each other all the way from school to my house. After a really long time of fighting, some teachers – were necessary more than one – manage to separate us. We could have continued. Our egos and prides would have allowed. But our bodies were on the edge. Both the Jocks and we chose the healthier option.

Mom almost fainted when she saw our state. I asked her with my eyes not to ask any questions - at least not at that moment. I can't say I didn't feel sorry. Not only did she have to see us that way, but she also had to take care of four teenagers falling apart. And still drive Frank to the hospital to bandage his arm.

Ray and Frank slept there and also spent the whole day with us. We explained everything to mom. If she wanted to give us a lecture, I think she had too much pity on us to do so.

Still, after everything, we were happy. So happy. Happy to have gone through all that and gotten something in return. Make a change. Anything. We talked about how fucking awesome it was all that week. The music in the speakers. The music out of school. The revolution and the jungle that the school became. And we laughed. Even though it all hurt, we laughed. Because it was worth it. I did not have an ounce of regret, and if necessary, I would do it all over again.


	35. We'll Carry On

**Gerard's POV:**

When Mikey and I got to school that morning, he said goodbye and quickly walked away into the building. But I didn't. I stayed and looked around.

A month passed since that last fight. It took us a while to recover. Not only wounds, but everything that happened.

The Monday after the fight was a mess. Principal Edwards decided that enough was enough, so he sent all the students to the gymnasium and gave us the biggest lecture of our lives. Thankfully, no one was sent to detention, because it would be impossible to punish the entire school.

School became the same after that, but at the same time, different.

It was clear that positions had changed. Some Jocks were not as popular as they were, and some outcasts were quite known now. We also had more voice; it was the first time I saw a Jock getting detention, probably a week after the school went back to normal, for bullying an outcast. 

About me and my friends, we were the same. The revolution didn't change us, but changed the way people saw us. Our band was bigger now and people in school actually appreciated our sound, even if our rehearsals were a bit disorganized due to Frank's broken arm.

And the Jocks... Well, they kept bullying us. And others. But it was nothing compared to what it was before. They knew what we were capable of and now there were real consequences for their actions.

Not only that, but also, we weren't scared anymore.

Maybe the revolution did change us a little.

Anyway, after a while staring at the horizon, I walked into the building.

Walked through the corridors, some people greeting me and stuff, until I got to Frank's locker. He was there, talking to Ray, Amanda and Mikey.

"And- Oh! Hey, Gerard!" Frank stopped talking and looked at me. So did the other three.

"I thought you'd never come." Mikey said.

"So... How are things?" Amanda smiled. I was happy that Frank and she had become friends again.

I stopped. How were things?

Good? Bad?

Neither. They were better. Not good, but better.

And honestly, that was enough.

"I'm okay." I answered, finally being honest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first work here. I first posted it on Wattpad and now decided to post in here too, so expect quick updates. Hope you like it!


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